I had written some weeks ago about how different people have different ways of coming to terms with the loss of a loved one. What is however infinitely more difficult than coping with death, is coping with near-death. I am referring to people who are living with terminal illnesses, like cancer, AIDS, or diseases of the auto-immune system which have no cure, as yet.
Not only are many such patients unable to accept reality when confronted with it, but there is a huge proportion of patients who buckle down mentally as disease destroys them slowly, ever so slowly. Therefore, to help them countenance their fate, almost all such illnesses have large support groups. That is why in such cases, there is a debate on whether the patients ought to be informed about the true state of their health, or not.
Last week I met two survivors of the Big C at a funeral occasion. It was at the mourning ceremonies of one of the most energetic actors of yesteryear, Shammi Kapoor, who crossed the Great Divide. At the ceremony, I met the scion of one of the country’s largest film production houses, who was looking paler than usual. He was one of the brightest youngsters in the industry and was working on offering entertainment on the internet and also on cellphones. Now, he had lost some weight and some of his crowning glory. I asked him what the matter was. “I am down with cancer,” he said starkly. “But cancer has chosen a wrong victim… I am determined to fight back,” he said, with determination in his eyes.
At the same place, I also met another woman who also told me about her battle with cancer. “I read your columns which are filled with hope,” she said. “And now you must write about people like us, and give others who are battling such illnesses, hope…” So here I am madam.
And I realised then that my younger brother Raju too had successfully, and very bravely, waged a battle against cancer a few years ago. Raju was down with cancer of the urinary bladder and a stage came when the surgeons had to remove his bladder completely to save him. That entailed him to a life with a catheter sticking out of him and his fluid being collected in a pouch by his side. Not a pleasant existence for anyone. But miraculously, the surgeons managed to fashion a bladder from his large intestine, sparing him the indignity of life with a pouch. Raju has been back on his feet since then, busy acting and directing television shows and doing the things he had always been doing.
Very often, life does not end with such illnesses. There are thousands of cases of people who have fought back and overcome such illnesses. The genius of physicist Stephen Hawking is one shining example. As I say, a bend in the road is not always the end of the road.