I have always maintained that there are virtually no new earth-shaking truths waiting to be discovered. Indeed much of all that we require to know to empower ourselves, with a view to changing ourselves for the better, has already been discovered. It is just that we need to constantly keep re-discovering the same truths and applying them to ourselves until they become a part of our routine.
One of finest truths I keep telling myself is that, in the end, nothing matters. I think it is a good guiding principle as any to adopt as one journeys through life. It is a touchstone, whether one is in the depths or in the highs.
Very often, you may be faced with a situation that really exasperates you despite all the high levels of tolerance and patience that you have adopted. Whether it is your spouse, or sibling or your sub-ordinate, they could all have done something really stupid vis-à-vis you and wishing that the earth would swallow them.
What does one do under the circumstances? Yes, one takes a few deep breaths and perhaps counts till 50, yet it is too critical a mistake. The only solution which I have found, which helps me tackle the situation, is to force a smile and say to myself — in the end, it doesn’t matter.
Take a step back and remember the time in school when you wanted desperately to be the class monitor... and you did not get the position? You cried and howled and perhaps cursed the unfairness of it all. But did it matter two years down the line? The answer would be NO. And does it matter now, perhaps two or three decades later? Now, it would be an even bigger NO.
Remember the time when you had all but snagged the job after the final interview; only to find out later that the CEO had handpicked his nephew for the slot? Or the time when you had worked so hard for the project in the hope of the promotion which never came? Yes, you were bitter, but does it matter now?
Such examples in our lives can be multiplied many times over and analysed and the answer will mostly be a NO to such questions. So why do we break our hearts when unfortunate events still happen to us? Should we not learn from experience?
The point of it all is that it is extremely difficult to get out of the crucible of the moment and look at life, and the event, philosophically. It is extremely difficult to take that step backwards and look ahead, and remain positive, but we have to do it.
One cue is to think of the saddest person you have seen or read about; it could be the award-winning picture of a Biafran child dying slowly with the vulture waiting in the foreground patiently. Or it would be the scene of a Nazi soldier asking a mother to choose which one of her two children should be allowed to live...
Is your situation so desperate in comparison? You have the answer...
The writer is a renowned film and theatre actor