Change may be a popular mantra, but we all have different responses to change. Even among men and women. Some view change as a learning experience and take it as a challenge; almost like learning a new hobby. Others feel threatened by it; as if it is a new technology which has to be harnessed. Yet others do not feel that they need to
change at all. If you look at it from another perspective, some of us know what our shortcomings are. Many do not. And the sad part is, that despite guidance, the rest are not prepared to accept that they have certain flaws in their attitudes which need to be corrected.
The rueful fact is that you cannot change a person, in whichever aspect we are talking about, unless that person is prepared to accept his or her deficiency and then s/he tries to change. There is empirical evidence that women, especially in the Indian milieu, are more keen to seek a change in their lives and are hence amenable to change. Part of the reason I believe is that girls, from a young age, are taught to think of the sensitivities of others in their families, and consider themselves last. In orthodox families, they are even trained how to look after their future in-laws and gain acceptance in their husband’s home. Again, after marriage, a girl has to live with a totally new set of relatives and learn to cope and adapt with her circumstances. No such adaptability is ever demanded from males, and therefore, predictably, they are more resistant to change.
I have known several people who have gone through their entire adult lives not apologising to anyone as they resolutely believe that they have never committed an error in their lives! And in the course of their distorted realities, they wreck untold havoc and misery on their near and dear ones. If there are any reasons why such people have remained non-achievers, rather than examine their lapses, they blithely palm off the blame on their parents, later their spouses and finally even their children. Yes, such people are almost always men!
This is not to say that men are inferior, it is just that they are more resistant to change than women. The truth is that women’s brains are wired 30 per cent more efficiently in terms of neural connections between the two hemispheres, which makes them better at multi-tasking, seeing the larger picture of life more easily and thinking of the long term; all of which make them ideal mothers and nurturers. Men, as they have less information flow between the hemispheres, in turn have a more compartmentalised approach to life and think more of the here and now issues and less of the long term.
Rather than debating on the merits of the brains of the sexes, it would be best to concentrate on why we are what we are. Men and women must understand each other’s imperatives and realise why some are more adaptable to change, yet others are not.
The writer is a renowned film and theatre actor