Alone, but not irresponsible

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Recent news reports have highlighted the trend of young children who are growing increasingly lonely and depressed, as their parents — caught up with their own work pressures — relegate them to boarding schools and impersonal care. But the other side of the story has teens who’ve grown into responsible, mature young adults simply because they came from double income families.
A case in point is 20-year-old Abhay Mitra, who took up responsibility for the house at an early age when both his parents were at work. “Staying alone made me more mature, it made me aware of the seriousness of life even as I became conscious about the value of money seeing how hard my parents had to work,” says Aditya. “It made me a responsible person very early on in life.”
Other teens, who were sent off to boarding schools to accommodate their parents’ work schedules say the experience has moulded their personalities for the better. Akash Agrawal, 19, says leaving home at an early age taught him that the world doesn’t revolve around him. “I learnt to take my own decisions since there was no one telling me what to do; I had to think for myself,” he says. Rohini Kejriwal, a Kolkata resident, says studying away from home brought about “openness in her thinking”. “Attending boarding school shaped my personality and my sensibilities,” she says.
While the traditional thinking was that children being left alone at home “had more opportunity to do wrong”, psychiatrist Dr Sharita Shah says this is an unavoidable circumstance in today’s age. “In a rapidly changing society like ours, it does become necessary for the parents to leave children alone. While taking responsibility early on does rob them of their childhood, what we now have is a bunch of really fine youngsters.”
Paediatrician Dr P.V. Vaidyanathan however cautions that a lot depends on the individual: “If someone is already independent and has leadership traits, then they will flourish when an opportunity to take up such responsibility presents itself. But there are others who need their parents around. There is no right or wrong: If you are faced with a situation that matches your personality, you emerge a winner. It is up to the parents to understand in which situation their offspring will bloom or perish.”