Last week, I was discussing the Change Within concept with someone who has made it a
profitable business to make people laugh. And it took me to the kernel of our philosophy of what really sets our programme apart from the others.
The reason why we are all with Change Within is because we all concede that we need to change our ways, our attitudes our reactions and indeed, our very matrix of existence. And we also acknowledge that the problems, and the solutions, all reside within us. As you will agree, unless we are all at peace within ourselves, and with ourselves, we cannot be at peace with the external world.
Indeed, all the life-coaching programmes that you will come across will also concur on the essence of this belief. And they will also invariably begin the journey inwards by asking you to look inwards. But I have often discovered that the journey within does not take into consideration the externalities of the world we live in. I have always believed that it is relatively easy to retreat to the mountains and meditate, live a pious life and get rid of negative thoughts. It is far more difficult to stay in the crush of our cities, go to work in crowded buses and trains, tolerate intolerant bosses, handle demanding children and still find peace within ourselves. In such a situation, the aggravation usually comes from the externalities.
Against such a backdrop, I have noticed that many people who practise myriad self-help philosophies in sylvan retreats and find themselves in the lap of positivity there, often lose their feel-good energies when they return to their homes where the real problems of life dwell. They form groups of similar practitioners, but the same feeling of being charged cannot be replicated.
I believe that it is so because in trying to reach inwards, we have not shed our externalities. And we can do so only by living them out entirely; and transcending them. As I have said before, a large part of our problems is that we are full of fears: of making a fool of ourselves, of being laughed at, of being found to be ignorant, of being unable to speak well, of being unable to dance well, of our past being discovered etc. We are therefore constantly unhappy with ourselves and put out an image of ourselves which is not based on reality. Indeed, the higher up the socio-economic scale one goes, the more pretentious, and serious — and laughable — the image becomes.
I believe that it is imperative to prick that image and we should begin by learning to accept ourselves as we are. Learn to be happy with all your irritations, shortcomings, flaws and soon you will feel better. Laugh out loud, get angry, learn to dance... and trip... and lose your awkwardness. Relax and learn to be a fool... you will feel better.
Remember that the journey within can only begin from the outside. That is where the real problems lie...
The writer is a renowned film and theatre actor