There is a new-age crisis on the horizon these days and it is common discussion where the young and trendy meet. It is what I call the ‘quarter-life’ crisis afflicting many of our bright and restless youth. For over a decade, we have been hearing and seeing — if not experiencing — the mid-life crisis. That was when people in their forties
went through experiencing life-weary signs and many did very unusual things like changing spouses, changing careers or dropping off and discovering themselves.
The scientific explanations came later; many linking it to women’s menopausal symptoms stemming from declining production of hormones and new research is now suggesting that there was a similar syndrome at work for men too. Whatever be the causative factors, the idea of mid-life crisis has come to stay and be accepted. But now, there is a growing band of 18-25-year-old young adults who are increasingly restive of what they are doing and don’t know the way ahead.
While a dominant share of such youth come from affluent backgrounds, there is a large section among them who are from the middle class and are truly bewildered at the choices before them. In either case, the answer lies in skilful and hands-on parenting.
The first category are the products of seriously rich people and I hold their parents accountable for the state of mind of their scions. I have always believed that instead of children being counselled, it is the parents who should be advised on child-rearing.
One of the most important things that keeps young adults on track is to have aspirational values. A good job, a nice car, a better apartment... But what is your motivation if you already live in palatial houses, travel abroad frequently and dine at fine eating places as a matter of routine and have a limitless supply of pocket money? There is truly nothing to aspire to and that is the problem with such youngsters. As I sometimes say, “There is no fire in their bellies...” So sometimes substance abuse takes over.
The real casualties of the quarter-life crises are the children of the more humbler-classes for they do not really have the financial muscle to sustain their aspirations. Yet they are confused, observing the lifestyle of their rich friends and living out a humdrum existence. They are also confused at the choices before them; should they opt for get-rich-quick methods or plough the slow and steady beaten track? Many of them make wrong choices and end up as wannabes as they desperately try to climb the social ladder to emerge on top of the heap at any cost.
In all these cases, a strong sense of values is what is required and that can only be instilled by parents. And to these youngsters I would like to say that we should be thankful that we are not perfectly happy today, because it gives us a reason to live for tomorrow.
The writer is a renowned film and theatre actor