Big B reigns supreme, Sallu, Akki way behind

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Teen-teen maharathi aur main single-piece nanhi si jaan. Kahan jaaon, kiska deedaar karoon? Obviously! Bade B ka! Hai, jaise old Scotch ka glow hota hai na, warmth hoti hai, vaise hi ABji bhi age ke saath nasheele-nasheele hote jaa rahe hain.

Everyday these days, as he walks down the back-lit little alley of Kaun Banega Crorepati (Sony) to welcome us and the contestants, mere man-mandir main yeh song bajne lagta hai: “Aaaiyee, meherban. Baithiye janejaan. Shok se lijiyejeee, ishk ke imtehaan...” Bus, iske aage what to say.
Next on my agenda was Akshay Kumar on Masterchef India (Star Plus). This show is rather precariously pegged on Akshay’s cooking days in Bangkok which, he loves repeating, were life-altering. Really? How?
Anyway. About a 100 contestants have already been chosen and episode dar episode they will be tested and eliminated, by Akshay and two fatty-fatty chefs, Ajay and Kunal, till the last few (three?) remain to go kadchi-to-kadchi for the grand prize of a cook book, own TV cooking show and Rs 1 crore.
The food till now has not been hugely impressive but the ride has been emotional — there are thela-wallas, ande-wallas, dukaan-wallas, and young adorable bahus and warm mommies who make simple dishes with paranthas.
Masterchef India won’t be about finding the best chef to run a Michelin star restaurant. It will be about finding the Best Mommy Cook (Daddy less likely) and that is why it will be a hit. Don’t believe me? Consider this scene: One middle-aged mommy-wife arrives from Punjab. Her life has been spent in the kitchen, serving her husband, son, saas and sasur. Akshay loves her meal so much that he bends down to touch her feet. Lady, crying and smiling, tells the camera: “Yes. Gurpreet is something.” Masterchef India is mommies ka Ashoka Chakra moment.
Anyway, after much rona-dhona, it was time for Chulbul Pandey on Bigg Boss (Colors). This season of BB is just too dreary. But luckily, on weekends, Salman Khan arrives. Mental and wacky, he brings the show to life after its week-long coma.
As you know, Khali the Great has entered Bigg Boss. Guess who was most excited on seeing Khali? Rahul Bhatt. His two brain cells went boing-boing against each other in excitement on spotting the 210-eggs-a-week hulk. The rest of the house, however, was weeping just contemplating the amount of food they have to cook.