Link pride and joy with work

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Q. I am a telecom engineer and I have worked in this company for over two-and-a-half years. I have made a few good friends who seem to be friends for life. Amongst them are two girls. We’re just friends, and they’ll get married and move out some day. One of my other friends is already moving out. I feel stagnant working here since there’s not much growth in my career path. I want to take up a job elsewhere and grow. But the thought that I have to leave the company and these few close friends is unbearable. Though I know that nothing is permanent, I’m not able to make a firm decision to move on. Please help me.
Ravi

A. It is absolutely fine to feel upset before leaving one job and shifting to another. Also, it is okay to be emotionally attached to your friends. It happens to everybody. After a few days you will be settled. Changing locations and jobs comes with a lot of anxiety and nervousness. However, in the long run you will realise that it’s not a big deal. Besides, you will meet new friends and can always keep in touch with your friends from this office as well. Apart from this, personal growth and satisfaction is extremely important and I think you need to focus on yourself during these early stages of your life. Sometimes, some people do prefer relationships over work and that’s what makes them happy and secure. That’s a good priority as well. However, you need to be sure that your friends feel the same way too. Even though this may sound like you are calculating but I have also been the kind of person who has made choices keeping friends and relations in mind. However, I have been let down by the very same people and I have learnt how to sometimes not get too carried away. The only thing in the world that keeps you grounded is the pride and joy you associate with your work. You work hard and you get back the rewards. Apart from family if there are relationships that root for you, keep them, cherish them, go that extra mile for them. But make sure they are the right ones.

Q. I am an engineering student in my final year. I am in the information science stream working as a software engineer but I feel this is a default option and I don’t like such kind of jobs. I want to do something creative and also earn from it. I am interested in establishing my own company. I don’t have practical exposure to any field as of now. Thinking of the current market and competition just adds to my worries. I have read a lot of self-help books, which didn’t help me. I am confused about what to do about my career. How to set career goals and so on. I am in an infinite loop of confusion. How do I come out of this and start to lead a life that won’t confuse or discourage me anymore?
Anonymous

A. First of all, taking your time to find out what you like is absolutely fine. While Tendulkar was a great batsman since he was a child, people like Dhoni were discovered later on in college. There are many successful people in the world who discovered their dreams in college. Please focus on the right things. Being a science student, a doctor, a sports person, actor — everyone’s job is creative. In fact, I don’t think it works any other way.
You need to go step by step. Finish your education. Get a job. Understand what you need to work on. Work on yourself. Worry never solves any problems. Take one step at a time. Learn one page a day. Learn a paragraph if a page makes you anxious. Enjoy it; understand the process of science and inventions and discoveries and mechanics and logistics. It is creative. There is science in a creative process and creativity in science. Of course if you truly feel you are genuinely not able to do what you are doing, you could change your profession but do so for all the right reasons. Not to escape.
About starting your own business, I would suggest you should rather learn and work for a while and give yourself a professional and financial platform to do so. All the best! Hard work and honesty are the only ways to succeed.
Shortcuts don’t work. Just remember that.