Heartbreak is not the end

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Q. I am a B.Tech student and I am in love with a girl to whom I proposed. She asked me if we could be friends for a while and I agreed. However, after a few days the situation changed and she began to treat me like her lover. Then she stopped talking to me as her mother got to know about the situation. On Rakhi Purnima she offered me a rakhi. I was furious. I don’t know what to do as I am still in love with her. How can I control my emotions? I can’t forget her.
Manoj

A. Every college student mails me about love and how the other person does not love him/her back. Honestly, I’m a little confused. You are the future of our country. You have to educate yourself, become a better human being, study hard, make a name, change the world, work hard, be happy. There is so much going on in the world.
Through this mail I would like to address all youngsters in love. First of all, it’s natural to fall in love. If someone does not love you back it’s alright. Respect it. Grow, indulge in the other good things in life. Develop a persona, play sport, learn a musical instrument, learn a language, participate in small ways to change the country. The whole world is progressing and the youth of India is capable of more than what’s happening here. Enjoy your life. Be kind to yourself. There are many other more important things in life.

Q. I want to ask for a solution to my cousin’s problem. She comes from a very traditional family. Her parents don’t love her. Instead they openly say, “We want to get rid of you as soon as possible, you are a big burden on us”, and want to get her married. She can’t wear jeans as her mother equates it to dressing like a “prostitute”! Her father doesn’t help her with anything., and watches sleazy videos in her presence.
My cousin is now financially independent; she wants to do her higher studies, but her parents want her to get married. They don’t like her spending her money. They are not financially weak yet they say to her that “we have total right on your money. You should give it to us.” A few days back she told me she at times thinks of ending her life. I explained to her that it is not worth it and she should talk to me or her friends. But she is slowly giving up. I feel helpless. I want to help. Do reply.
Anonymous

A. I feel really sorry for your cousin. But if her parents don’t love her and are causing her so much harm, she should consider moving out. I understand and believe in the Indian way of life where families stick together. I respect that because those families love, protect and respect each other. Either you could speak with other relatives or have a serious chat with the girl’s family. But what her parents are doing is not normal. We often look to our parents for love and unconditional security and parents look to children to be dutiful. Maybe your cousin feels that she will be defying her duty by leaving her parents and may feel guilty, but with what they are doing she will be happier without them. The world is a beautiful place and she will find happiness and feel lighter. Please be firm with the parents and take a stand. Have a serious chat with them. She deserves the best life just like everyone else on this planet.