Find a solution and communicate

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Q I am a regular reader of your column and I have a personal query to ask you. I recently had a tragic experience. I lost my 16-year-old daughter to a rare disease. She was my world. We did everything to save her. Why did this happened? She had many dreams, which were not even realised. How I can get peace of mind? She passed through a painful treatment. I want to know she is in peace.
Anupama

I wish there was a way to get back the people we love, our parents, or children who have left us and gone. I know nothing compares to the pain you must feel. But I want to tell you that your daughter saw and received so much unconditional love and care that she could have hoped and dreamed of because you fought for her. I lost my father this year. I know losing a child is more disheartening but I found a way to keep him alive through the things I do, through my book, through these columns. I’m sure you will find a way to do that too. It could be by being happy and peaceful yourself. Children feel more love for parents than parents know. They are protective and possessive. Your little girl always found her strength in you and by finding it for yourself you would not be unfair towards her memory. Your laughter and happiness will give her peace.

Q. I am a 19-year-old boy in relationship with a 20-year-old girl from Bengaluru. Our relationship is going on well. The problem in our relationship is not within us but from our friend. She is my girl’s best friend and she is single. Whenever she sees my girlfriend and me together she gets very jealous. She expects the same kind of attention that I give to my girl but it’s not possible. My girlfriend and me are very hurt by her behaviour and most of our fights and arguments happen due to her. My girlfriend thinks that maybe even her friend likes me. We are very disturbed and worried. Please help us out.
Anonymous
Well the answer is simple. Your girlfriend must speak to her friend and find out what exactly is bothering her. May- be both of you should make her comfortable and in the process make yourselves comfortable too. It is very easy to get upset with people and push them away. The better choice is to always find a solution and communicate. Besides, I’m sure that you have a lot of other things to do like studying and college, etc. Don’t make your lives unpleasant by indulging in negativity. It could be a phase. Talk it out. If everyone is unhappy, stay away from the third person for a while and explain to her that she is not doing right by you. I’m sure she will have her side of the story as well. Communi-cation is the key. All the best!