One of the enduring issues of contemporary life is that there are too many negative things happening, and too few positives. Whether you open the newspapers or watch the news on television or just look around you, you will see that the number of bad guys far outnumber the good guys. And the sad part is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish the good from the bad.
In a world bereft of role models, where the mass media confuses rather than analyses, the negatives are coming across as more alluring and exciting; the good is looking boring. Apart from the obvious confusion of values, the other aspect is the increasing amount of people who are beginning to feel negative in their outlook.
Last month I met a woman in her twenties, who is in the advertising business and is typical of many people of her generation. She confessed to me that she was very negative in her attitude; about people, about relationships and about her future. It was not that she was a victim of some unfortunate circumstances; far from it. But just looking at the world around her, and at her colleagues and at the entire business of media hyping the wrong people and ignoring the right ones, had made her sick to her gills. It had come to a stage where she could see nothing positive in anything that happened to her.
She is not alone. Actually, she may just be a cynic and not a negative personality. But the loneliness of the big cities, where youngsters follow dreams, is a recipe for negativism and depression to flourish. Many people I meet are consumed with depressive thoughts like, “Nothing good will come out of this interview.” “I can never get this job… I am a born loser.” Such feelings are self-fulfilling and ultimately strangulate the personality they feed on.
The sad part is that thoughts do not remain mere thoughts. What is little known is that our thoughts trigger off chemicals in our brains which send electrical impulses across the brain and create neural pathways. The more we keep getting such negative thoughts, the more our brain keeps getting hardwired to being receptive to such thoughts. So the trick is to break them.
I have already mentioned in my earlier column the concept of reciting backwards the numerals from 50 to one. Such an exercise breaks our thought process and forces us to focus on the count. Another method is to chant a poem or a hymn or a mantra to derail the negative thought. To break the negative thought process, think of the positives in your life or any happy event. Like your last vacation, or the fun-filled party you attended. Or just the happy and warm moments you shared with your family.
And finally, one of the most important things to do is to have a circle of positive friends who will bolster you with optimism. That is why they say, “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you what you are!”