Last week I wrote about how chan-ge creeps on us, imperceptibly, and how we sometimes change so much that we cannot recognise ourselves. Time changes us, circumstances change us. No one can remain unmoved if fate continually deals them the wrong set of cards.
Frustration, anger and re-sentment are the normal attitudinal changes that occur along that path. Yes, we can all understand and empathise with people under such circumstances.
But do you think that change only impacts folks when they have undergone adverse circumstances? Do people also get impacted by a change in fortune for the better?
It is indeed difficult to understand why good fortune too should inherently change people, apart from them understandably up-marketing their choices and being able to splurge more than before. But good fortune also changes people in many ways. Primarily, and as expected, success and wealth inflates egos and makes people feel pompous. Such a change, I’m sure, must have been witnessed by all of us who have seen good fortune smiling on our friends and associates.
Most damaging of all, great wealth and success isolate people from others, with unintended consequences. To a large extent, no one can be different to a mega-shift in their status. Everyone’s perspective changes; whether they shift from a slum to an apartment or whether they upgrade from a small car to a Rolls.
It is ironic that though we would like to announce our new status, that we have arrived, to the world, we distance ourselves from our old friends and associates, even as we actively start chasing and befriending new ones. That is because we feel that our old buddies may soon stretch their hands asking for financial help seeing our wealth, and that they may not be classy enough to be introduced to our new found friends.
So, we soon distance ourselves from our old links. We even distance ourselves from God. Have you ever noticed the multitude of pictures of Gods that exist in humbler abodes, in contrast with those in the houses of the rich?
The bid to forget the past has sad consequences. I have seen such status upgrades almost always taking a toll on marriages. Usually it is the man who has earned the wealth. And he soon gets distanced from his wife, because the person who is the strongest link to the past is his spouse. So he wants to jettison her too.
But life is not spent perennially at a baggage carousel where we can pick up any bag and examine it and decide if we want to keep it or not. Life is a continuum and we soon realise the advantages of sticking with old and trusted values, friends and spouses!
We all need friends to share, comfort us and also just to be around to talk with. Even with all the riches, you still cannot hug yourself or cry on your own shoulder! You need someone you feel emotionally warm with, for that feel-good feeling.