Invest in your positive qualities
I am regular follower of your column and quite convinced of the validity of your advice. I am a 20-year-old, doing my B.Tech final year. I have a girl in my life who used to be a good friend in the past but we are not on good terms lately, because of the competitiveness between us. She is better looking than me and edges me out of every competition. She is smarter and fares better in academics as well as extra-curricular activities, though I am definitely a lot more hard-working. To top it all, she acts as if she is the coolest person. This makes me feel low and left behind. Which is why our friendship has become strained. I feel envious of her not just because she is more successful, but because I think I’m equally deserving, yet I can’t make it to the top. This feeling of envy makes me distressed. I want to convert the competitiveness into a positive motivating force. I want to accept myself as I am and be satisfied, instead of constantly comparing myself with her. Please suggest a way out.
Praveena
A. Feeling envious is natural and no human being is ever devoid of that emotion. While sometimes it drives us and is healthy, indulging in it way too much is not good. Sometimes in situations like this we blow things out of proportion. A few years down the line you will laugh at the way you were feeling. Change your atmosphere and focus. Time will help you look at things differently. Also when one is feeling low or stressed out, one should look within, slow down, find your strengths, and automatically you will find the confidence within you. Let a couple of months pass.Watch films. Go out. Change your circle of friends. Meet relatives, cousins. You don’t have to make an effort to outshine someone else. You are giving someone too much importance in the wrong way. Instead change your point of view. Try to appreciate her, learn new things for yourself, see what you like and invest in your positive qualities instead.
Q. I am an engineering student and aim to be an entrepreneur. I have been investing in the stock market since 2004. My friend and I have incurred losses, but we still manage to invest in the BSE-NSE and have remained unsuccessful so far. We are trying hard, but sometimes I feel
that life is coming to an end. I request you to give me some solutions to my problems.
Abdul Kazi
A. Expecting to live by profiting through stocks is a shortcut and is equal to gambling. I suggest you get a real job. Unfortunately, we are turning into a world of shortcuts: less time, less effort and an excess amount of money is what most people aim for. But that is not how successful people have made their lives. You must work and get a job as an engineer since that’s your education. That’s a more secure and satisfying life. Taking shortcuts is a vicious circle and I don't recommend it for anybody.
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