Gender equality begins at home

How important is it to come to terms with ‘change’? Even small changes make me really nervous. I can’t think of my daughter getting married and living with someone else. I can’t come to terms with changing homes. I take time to adjust, even when my husband is in a transferrable job and we relocate to a new city almost every four-five years.
Archana Pradhan

A. Change is tough for all and it is a constant. It’s also okay to feel anxious about it. When your family changes homes you think of everyone’s adjustment and look out for all and that’s why it takes longest for you to adapt because you make everyone else’s transfer and ‘change’ comfortable. So take your time.
You know your daughter’s needs, what makes her tick and being uncomfortable about her getting married is you hoping that she will get the same environment you have given her. We tend to assume that emotions that overwhelm us may be wrong but I would see them as your strength. Strength because you acknowledge that it scares you and because it stems out of looking out for everyone. Be proud of it. This answer is to all the women who nurture and look out for everyone.

Why can’t a guy or a guy’s family compromise in matters related to marriage? When it comes to the practical aspect, we see no progress. I still see my colleagues keeping work as a second priority while for their husbands their work remains on top of the list. A working girl never takes leave for an ailing parent but she is forced to take leave for an ailing parent-in-law. Do you think it will ever change?
Aashika Jain

A. Well, we might have lived in a patriarchal system for a while now. But I also believe things go around in cycles. I have great faith in the youth and the steps they are going to take to change things. Especially gender inequality. It needs to begin at home. I can proudly speak for educational systems and even my school, which proves to be an equaliser and more often than not girls are doing better, as they work harder and are more focused.
I believe girls have the strength to endure and handle much, much more. I cannot see many boys who can handle home, family and work together. But women do it effortlessly. If not anything, women need to be respected and looked up to for everything they are capable of. I hope, we as a nation learn to acknowledge their contribution and wisdom.

Readers can send their queries to askanupam@anupamkhercompany.com

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