To be happy in one’s own company

May 05, 2013 - Anupam Kher |

Age Correspondent

Q.I was in a serious relationship for almost six years. But something happened and I broke up with my boyfriend last year. Since then, few guys have pursued me but I don’t feel interested in any of them. Even strange is the fact that I don’t miss my ex. I feel okay being single. I like being alone most of the time. Is it okay?
Muskaan

A. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. You probably need to be alone right now. Maybe that’s important to you. Why do you want to change the course of how you feel? After a while you will feel the need for companionship. It’s completely all right. It is your intellectual and emotional need to invest in yourself. It is completely all right to want to be alone. That means you enjoy your own company. It is a good sign. And when you do feel the need to be in a relationship you will know.
Right now, I suggest you enjoy yourself and enjoy doing what you want to do. All the best. Just don’t spend time worrying.

Q.I share a room with a friend whom I have known since my Masters. We have known each other for a few years. We share a lot of interests and often end up spending time together. However, at times she takes me for granted and expects that I accompany her to every place she goes. There are times I need my space. I want to make her understand this but very subtly and not hurt her. How should I resolve this issue?
Sandhya

A. Many times we postpone expressing ourselves or communicating even with people we are close to. I know sometimes confronting someone could make us uncomfortable and we even feel afraid of reactions. The discomfort will be there and there might be a reaction but once that’s over you will realise it just makes things better. Even if it gets unpleasant for a while, it will be over. Time heals everything.
Besides, this is a very small issue and somewhere it affects you because it is important to you. You must learn to say what’s on your mind. It would also be healthy for your relationship and you will learn to speak your mind in the future. There is nothing wrong with it. I’m sure you will realise that it is not a big deal at all anyway.
Readers can send their
queries to askanupam@anupamkhercompany.com

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