Divorcees and widows beware! With his fake profiles posted on popular matrimonial sites, 26-year-old Aamir Khan targeted divorcees and widows and was able to cheat many of them in the last two years.

The latest victim was a Chennai-based BPO worker who complained to the city cyber crime officials that Khan cheated her and stole her money as well.

According to the police, Khan, a divorcee himself, used to introduce himself as a senior professional in an IT firm or employee of a reputed corporate house with a hefty monthly package.

A senior cyber crime official told Deccan Chronicle, “We are collecting more details from Khan on the number of women he cheated.

Every year, we receive at least five complaints about cheating through matrimonial sites. All details posted on the site might not be true. The applicants should check the authenticity of the profiles.”

The officer said that Chakravarthy from Villupuram was recently arrested for cheating 16 women via matrimonial sites.

The cyber crime department has decided to conduct awareness camps in city colleges in the coming months. “We organised a series of awareness events in trade fairs, exhibitions and many public places last year.

We will arrange sessions in city colleges now about fake profiles on matrimonial sites. It’s high time net users were aware of the possible dangers in the virtual world,” said the official.

Mr S.N. Ravichandran of Cyber Society of India Forum said, “There was a recent incident in Erode where a miscreant read through the profile of a groom on a matrimonial site and checked out his likes and dislikes on his facebook page.

He then approached the youth’s parents, claiming to be a priest, with ‘supernatural knowledge’ about their son.

He convinced them that they should immediately perform a pooja for their son’s well-being. When the parents were engaged in the pooja, the fake priest stole all the valuables from the house and fled.”

“Matrimonial site users should first cross-check the address, the firm where the person is employed and ensure that the details are genuine by contacting his/her family,” he cautioned.

Rules of engagement by bharathmatrimony

Jumping the gun while surfing for potential life partners on matrimonial websites, is bound to land you in a sticky situation.

As with any other contact made through a chatroom or social networking website, a netizen should exercise caution before getting personal with strangers they come across on matrimonial sites.

“We have nearly three lakh people registering on our website every month. While our staff can only make the basic enquiries and verify the details posted by users over telephone, we cannot keep track of every profile,” says Murugavel Janakiraman, CEO and founder of Bharathmatrimony.com. He lays down three golden rules for women registered on any matrimonial website.

Rule #1 Cut the Cash

“There should be absolutely no exchange of money before marriage,” says Mr Murugavel. “The person may sound very nice, he may have even promised to marry you..

But the minute he asks you for money, or a loan, it is a clear sign that he is a conman,” stresses Mr Murugavel, urging women not to fall for common excuses such as “I am coming from the US and I lost my wallet at the airport, please send me some money,” or “My mother is hospitalized, I need some cash urgently”
Rule#2—No hanky-panky

“A man and woman who get acquainted through a matrimonial site should not indulge in a physical relationship before marriage,” says Mr Murugavel, pointing out that sticking to traditional values of abstinence until your wedding night, may save a lot of pain.

“No matter how decent or genuine the prospective groom may be, there is no need to start getting physical. If the man runs away or breaks off the wedding, the woman will be left in the lurch, feeling violated and cheated,” he warns.

Rule# 3—Meet the parents
“Get the family involved, keep your parents informed about your every move,” Mr Murugavel says.
In many of the cases reported, the victims have gone ahead and met the ‘bridegrooms’ by themselves, started affairs with them or given them money, without their parents’ knowledge or approval.

“While a matrimonial service or website is just the first touchpoint, it is best if the families continue the process of ‘fixing’ the wedding, traditionally. Like in the old days, the parents could meet first and talk it over, before taking the next step. The family is the best security against con artists,” he advises.

Getting married the arranged way is safer

The traditional practice of arranging marriages, in which elders in the family play a major role, is time tested in cementing the bondage.

But for the draconian greed for dowry, arranged marriage is far too safe and does not fix the onus on any individual but makes it a collective responsibility at crisis time, say those into arranged marriage for decades.

“The age-old practice of enquiring about the background of the prosperous bride or groom to be, by visiting their offices or houses, enables one to ascertain the character of the suitable boy or girl and also their parents,” says Mohan, who has recently married off his teacher son to a teacher bride.

But then there is a scientific element to arranged marriages. The horoscopes of the bride or groom help to ascertain the matrimonial compatibility and this is verified by the parents of both the sides, he says.

“Well, so long as the horoscopes are not tampered before tallying, relationships will not turn sour in post-married life,” he adds.

“Finding a suitable ‘match’ for the ‘girl’ or ‘boy’ is not an easy task. Though astrological compatibility is also a must, enquiries and conversation during the official ‘seeing’ of the ‘girl’ in her parents’ presence, helps to understand the persons far better,” says J. Subrahmanyam and adds that arranged marriages continue to thrive even today.

“Though I am physically handicapped, my mumbling that the girl whom I have ‘seen’ had some patches on her face, was overheard by her father. Just about a fortnight before my marriage, he had ensured his daughter undergo plastic surgery, much to my surprise,” says N. Ravi, president of Tamil Nadu Differently Abled Welfare Association.

Despite the changing lifestyles, arranged marriages continue to hold good, he says and adds that “arranged marriage is an institution surviving on love and trust”.

Love marriages that last longer hinge upon the patronage from the parents.