Q. I am a management student, currently working in a small firm. I am a very energetic girl but when it comes to studying (I am doing an MBA) I feel demoralised and get frustrated. I feel the only thing I can’t do is study. I open a book but I don’t study it. I have a very negative attitude towards my studies and because of this my parents are very tense. I realise that every individual has one major quality and as I said I am very energetic and my negative attitude does not extend to dance. When it comes to dance, my mind, body and energy are all ready to participate. I even dream about dance, despite the fact that I have no knowledge of any dance form. I also know that dance cannot be my career, it’s just a passion. Please guide me on how to motivate myself to study.
Anonymous

A. I think it is an amazing feeling to be passionate about something in life. And you know what you are passionate about. If you love dance so much you should take classes and continue to do so. However, at the same time, it is extremely important to be educated. It gives you confidence and stability and adds to your persona. It shows when you speak and when you meet new people. I am sure you will find a way to learn. Boredom and monotony are a part of every process in life. Even when you learn dance there will be a point when you feel stagnant and bored and demotivated. We have to find new ways in life to renew our positivity and enthusiasm. We have to reinvent ourselves. Everyone does it — a homemaker, a teacher, an artist, scientist... When we reach such a point in our lives, it is an opportunity to grow.

Q. I am 16 years old and used to live in Delhi and had a girlfriend who loved me a lot. Because I was relocating to Vizag on a permanent basis, the girl proposed to me and I accepted, but now when I have begun to reciprocate her feelings, she doesn’t feel the same way about me. I am a guy with lots of friends but my anger and inability to concentrate on my studies might harm me a lot. Please suggest a way in which I can do well in the future.
Jeetu

A. Feeling like this after a break-up is a natural reaction. We all feel let down sometimes and we all want the appreciation and love that we had and have lost. However, at the same time, time heals and after a while you will realise that you are fine. Distract yourself, have fun and play sports, etc. Channel your energy into something creative. It’s a matter of a few days. You will be fine and studying hard and having fun. Don’t think so much or indulge in self-pity.

Q. The problem with me is that people say a lot of bad things about me and I keep quiet. After sometime I start wanting to reply. Why do I fail to stand up to them when they are insulting me? Also, when I start getting close to someone, they start hurting me with cruel words. All this replays in my mind when I open my books in the library.
Anonymous

A. My dear friend, I think you must learn to speak frankly with your friends and I am sure they will understand your issue with them. The other option is to ignore them. If all your friends have a problem with the way you are behaving, you must find out why they feel this way. Sometimes our friends help us become better human beings. When you are getting close to people you could be over-crowding them or being too involved with their lives. Sometimes we get such reactions from people when we are over-possessive about them or pushy. It is important to breathe and live freely in friendships and in our expressions of love for them. Your dignity is important to you and that’s why you feel hurt. Work on your relationships and yourself for a peaceful life. Have fun. That’s what friends are for. Don’t lead a stressful life.