I’m 18 years old, studying in standard XII. My father died last year due to which I had to repeat the year by joining a cooperative college. Since then my life has become miserable. I can’t concentrate on my studies or anything because I can’t adapt to the system followed by my new college. I curse myself for troubling my mother with my problems and also financially burdening her, which makes me to feel like committing suicide. Please help me out!

Anjali Gupta

A. Sometimes life takes away people from us and we find it very difficult to adjust and move on. It is natural. You must have had many emotional lows because of your love for your father. Don’t look at your life as being a problem. You are not a problem for your mother. She needs to adjust too. Both of you will take time to adjust. And that’s all right. Look at the good things in life and love and support each other. Often we assume that our parents know everything and will adjust and support us and will guide us but they are lost too, they are in pain too and are sometimes as clueless as us or as vulnerable as us. Find that love and support within you for your mother. See life differently. Search for small joys. Try to read, grow, and spend time together. We all go through lows in our life and failures, but they make us who we are. If your studies are troubling you find a new way to learn. Try differently. It’s fun studying as well. And I am saying this again but suicide is not an option. You can think of better escape routes like movies and friends, food and reading, music, learning something new. These things will add to your persona. Don’t dwell in self-pity and thoughts of taking your life. Happiness is not rocket science. It’s within you.

Q. I am a 24-year-old girl from Mysore. I was in love with a boy when I was in Bengaluru. My parents knew about my love. However, when I fell in love with him, he started to tell me that he couldn’t marry me, because of family problems. Now he is not interested in having a relationship with me. Initially when I didn’t speak to him, he used to cry. But, today if I don’t call him for 15 days, he doesn’t call me even once. I can’t forget him. I try diverting my mind but to no avail. I think of committing suicide now. I don’t want to die. I have to live for my parents. Help!
Anonymous

A. I understand your feelings and they are heightened only because of the fact that he is not responding to you. Everyone falls in love with someone and sometimes it does not work out. You will see new strength and a new person in yourself when you let go. Happiness is also something you have to make a habit of. Don’t let someone else’s behaviour dictate your happiness. I’m not going to address the suicide issue because it is not an option. You are young and smart and have a life that is worth living and a family and friends. Have fun with your friends. Enjoy, laugh, watch films, sing, dance, work, study, read, learn something new, paint, ride a cycle, get wet in the rain, climb a hill... I can go on. Come on, you have to make an effort to change your thoughts. Life gives us these chances that we can learn from... It’s a blessing. So live it up, learn, grow, and experience your heartbreak. It will teach you a lot and make you stronger. Everyone in this world has had their heart broken. Every single person.