Hitler in Abbottabad

“Forced to build an infinite wall
I built a rounded well.
I wish the Chinese Emperor
Would burn and rot in hell.”
From The Stonemason’s Song
by Bachchoo

Sensation: May 2011
Hitler apprehended and killed by Israeli commandos in a compound near the English Military Academy of Sandhurst.
After 65 years of searching for him, Adolf Hitler was traced to a compound in the military stronghold of Britain and killed in a firefight with Israeli “Herod” commandos.

A triumphant Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of Israel, said that the “Herod Elimination Commandos” had flown in five helicopters under British radar all the way from West Asia and landed in the compound where Hitler was believed to be living.
They discovered and apprehended the fugitive dictator and genocidal maniac in the second-floor bedroom of a two-storeyed building. He was executed with bullets to his head after he refused to surrender and attempted to use his paramour Eva Braun’s body as a human shield.
The compound with 40-foot high walls, a mile away from Britain’s most prestigious military academy, had been watched by Mossad agents for several months before the raid. It was suspected that this was Hitler’s hideout when his Dachshund pet Mosley was seen leaving the premises every week and trotting down the pavement to the corner newsagent’s shop to collect the “Aram ist haram Zeitung” which had been specially ordered by the dog from S.S. Patel who told this newspaper that he had no idea who the “end reader” was.
Six other supporters of Herr Hitler were also killed in the assault before his body was bundled into the Herod mission’s helicopters and, it is believed, flown back to Israel and then dumped in the Persian Gulf. German Chancellor Angela Merkel refused to accept Herr Hitler’s remains and left the Israelis with no option but to ditch the body, with full Nazi rites, in the sea. Rabbi Shimon Deuteronomischter, speaking for the Israeli government, insisted that the Israelis had a chorus of seven Walkyries singing In a Deutschlandisch Country Garden und auch Ein Ash Grove before the body was consigned to its watery burial.
The whole operation took two hours to complete but now comments from all round the world indicate that there are very many unanswered questions which may take longer to answer.
How had Hitler escaped justice for 65 years? Did the British government, which gets $18 billion in aid on the excuse of fighting Nazism, know that he has been there for at least 62 of those 65 years? How was it that he was living so close to the premier British military academy without the British Army knowing he was there?
Obviously, the greatest stir has been caused in Britain with Prime Minister David Cameron claiming that this country has done more for the anti-Nazi cause when the French just ran away and the Americans made lying films about their heroics.
Indian commentator and philanthropic writer dedicated to bringing fiction to the intellectually challenged, Gropa Naith, said, “Hey, did you get a load o’ them pictures of the condominium? Baby, Eva, how could you? The place was, like filthy, honey! Not a designer bed sheet in sight! And, come on, hon, like you could have cleaned up the blood stains before you let the vultures — I mean the mammarazi — click their way in to your home sweet home!”
British corps commanders are believed to have held an immediate conference and accusations were bounced about. How did the Israeli task force get in under the radar? If they could do it, what was preventing the Icelanders from launching a similar attack and targeting the offices of accountants who know how much money Icelandic banks owe us?
The Israelis were asking other questions. Is Britain a state within a state where a considerable and powerful section of the Secret Services sympathise with Al Swastika? (Contd Page 666 of Culture Section)
Extracts from the blogosphere:
“Brothers, Hitler is not dead. He died in 1951 in Abbottabad in Pakistan. These is just stunts by Netanyahu to get elected in election. I am knowing person in Al Swasitka who telled me all this. Why killing golden goose who is laying plenty eggs?”
Weirdbeard
“Weirdbeard is completely wide of the mark and it is typical of these extremists to subscribe to conspiracy theories. The brave Israeli detachments have, after years, been successful in removing the main threat to world peace. Let us salute them as they are generously donating their salaries to the Israeli PM’s fund.”
B. Netanyahu
“We are not fooled by the disguise of using an initial like “B”. Own up to your opinions Netanyahu!”
Jasmine Alibaba
“Every rickshaw in London is now displaying sign which is saying “Do not blow horn, Army is sleeping”. Ha ha!”
Kate the Commoner
“Kate the Commoner works for the French secret services. Note: there are no rickshaws in London. Wake up police and arrest her.”
Potattooed Potato
“Don’t be zo zilly. How can Hitler who vos born in 1888 still be alife? Unless he was drinking Yakov’s Elixir which keeps everyone very young forever. (Only $17 dollars or £11 per bottle.) If you die, money back!”
Y.B. Yakov
“Why was the dog Mosley killed by the Herod Commandos? Was he guilty? Shouldn’t he be put on trial instead of shooting on site? These vermin should all be shot…”
Woof Woofter
In the clearing out of Hitler’s Sandhurst bunker, his last will and testament was discovered. Field Marshall Sir Wilhelm Much-Whipping disclosed its contents to the world press:
“Ze tird reich vill Last forever, so you can alles go to Hell. Zis Great Britein ist already going zere, mit de Skottishers declarink lebensraum and das Koalischion breaking in terrible pisses and army being in big defeats in Libya because zey are boasting and wearing medals and their best fighting mode is, zo far, hands up in the air. Ze whole ting is going to hell in a handcart anyway.
My second best bed can please be returned to the Army supplies and ordnance vot lendz it to mich in first place (Is good joke: second best bed in first place! Geddit?)”