Nuclear families can create emotional void

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While the term emotional insecurity is “just another word” for many, little did we expect that the need to be loved could lead a child to plot her own kidnap. Recently, a 15-year-old student of Class 8 plotted her own kidnap, befriended a boy to seek emotional support and disappeared with him.

There are also reports that she was upset for not being treated well at home. Ironic as it may seem, but some experts are even of the opinion that nuclear families may be leading to an increase in emotional insecurity among youngsters.
Dr Deepak Gupta, Child and Adolescent psychiatrist, Centre for Child & Adolescent Wellbeing says, “Youngsters today are highly vulnerable and just want immediate satisfaction, be it emotional or physical and this is where they get into wrong relationships, trust wrong people and put their lives at risk. This is where family role is important. Nuclear families leave little time to interact with kids and thus they find their comfort zones in friends,” says Dr Gupta.
More intriguing is the fact that even as most parents are friends to their kids these days, there’s something missing in their relationships. Ramneek Pantal, who tries to balance it all with her son, shares, “One of us (me or my husband) is always there with our son. Even when we go out at night, we leave only once our son has slept and never leave him with the maid. I usually drop him at my parents’ house. It’s good to be in tune with the times, but it’s more important to just advise them about right and wrong,” avers Ramneek.
For 17-year-old Radhika Kumar (name changed on request) it was never difficult to make a boyfriend and lead a life on her own terms as her parents were always busy with their jobs.
“I used to miss their presence initially, but now I feel irritated when they try to be too friendly with me. I always made friends to get away from this loneliness and my friends understand me better. This emotional insecurity led me into a few wrong relationships, but I’ve learnt my lessons,” confesses Radhika.
What’s important for parents is to watch out for problematic personality traits in their children.
“These are kids with borderline personality traits. Not all, but only those kids who already have attention seeking behaviour go to this extent. Since most kids have an attention seeking personality, it’s important to give them ample time. Nuclear families are a major reason why many kids today lack emotional support, but at the same time it’s not the only reason. Parents have to figure out how to spend ample time with kids,” says Navin Kumar, psychologist, Trustee Manas Foundation.