Have it all, but love

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The eternally enigmatic Rekha, the fantasy of many men recently said, “Lots of people love me, but those you expect to love you don’t... rest do.” This is perhaps a telling statement of how a successful and envied woman can feel rather short-changed in love. One of the most talked about romances in India and perhaps the only pair who

has kept the sizzle factor alive, every time they are spotted at the same event, stand on very shaky ground — as far as their reported love goes. There is Amitabh, a happily married man, who takes holidays with his family to Florence, makes public appearances escorting his wife and then there is Rekha, always spotted only with her confidante and manager Farzana at all times. Despite her meteoric rise and failed attempts at setting up ‘home’ in a certain sense of the word, still many say she yearns for true love. And her expressive eyes tell a story of intense devotion and longing.
So does true love overpower success and achievement? Shobhaa De says, “Yes, there really is no substitute for that four letter word called love. I can completely empathise with Rekha’s yearning. Her biggest dream was to become Mrs so-and-so. She collects mangalsutras.” What about the Rekha that the world adores and respects? “Achievement minus the cushioning that love provides is so cold. Can you make love to trophies and awards? Can you share your life with medals? Confide in a Padma Bhushan? Most successful people are lonely and isolated especially in their twilight years.”
But is inadequate love a consequence of bad choices in life or do successful women intimidate men? “No one is adequately loved, everyone wants more. And it is not fair to compare your relationship or love story with someone else’s.” Is it however wrong to expect the one you love, to love you back? “Well, love could still be there but one person might be bound by the responsibilities he has consciously chosen. And consequently the way he shows his love might be tailored accordingly,” says Dr Surbhee Soni, a relationship counsellor.
Echoing a similar view designer Anamika Khanna says, “More than success or bad choices, the success of love in India is very circumstantial. We have too many man-made rules and these at most times hinder love.” But, what about striking a balance? “Unfortunately, people get too caught up in the rights and wrongs of love and very often the norm triumphs over poetic love or choices.”
And if you thought this yearning was confined to women alone, one only has to look at the Forbes billionaire list. From Michael Bloomberg, German royal Albert von Thurn und Taxis to Brazil’s mining tycoon Eike Batista, they are still taking a shot at ‘true’ love. Kalyani Saha, Vice President, Christian Dior Couture, says, “These billionaire types are often playboys and Casanovas who are used to having everything money can buy and very often even love, but they know the women are after their wealth. When they do find the one, their conditioned minds are commitment-phobic.”
So, is love simply so irresistible that it consumes the glory of achievement, brand value, power and bank balances? Actress Khushboo explains, “Success most definitely is nice but one needs love, a home and family. Also the flip side of success is that the expectation from the partner is manifold. So the options then become limited.”