A man’s polished performance as the unbending better half is not always contrived. Juggling multiple roles as the bloke amidst his beer-buddies and being the emotional anchor to his wife who courts avoidable flak deserves applause. Especially Indian men, like Sanjay Dutt or an Anil Kumble have an uncanny knack of shining
through when you least expect it. Despite all the hue and cry during Sanjay’s courtship of item girl Manyata, he stood by her like a rock, amid controversies of her previous marriage. Even when a man showed up claiming to be her husband and his family scorned his choice, the Dutt dude silently yet sternly catapulted Manyata to be the czarina of his home. Not one to shy away from his choice, Sanjay even launched her in the larger domain of national politics as a miffed sister Priya Dutt looked on. And perhaps it is this conviction with which men stand by their women, that makes a Manyata or an Aishwarya Rai Bachchan have a steely-toed resolve to fiercely guard their relationships.
While the world develops strong and sometimes mislaid opinions, some men have put at stake their carefully crafted image and gone all out for love. Anil Ambani is a classic example of a strong-minded young man who looked past Tina Munim’s past that was riddled with reports of her sharing the toothbrush with Rajesh Khanna. Actor Arjan Bajwa, commenting on the evolution of the Indian man, says, “In the whole craze of aping the west, Indian men have also warmed up to women with a past. We are a lot more liberal today and the notion of morality has shifted greatly. It is more about finding happiness in the future than delving into the past.”
Coming from an illustrious family and with possibly India’s most industrious tag attached to his name, Anil could have had a woman who was the pinnacle of beauty, virtue and a fat bank balance too (not that Tina Munim lacked any of that) but according to limited social perception then about women in cinema. Instead he gave their finely crafted romance a dignified conclusion by inviting her into the Ambani home.
Fortunately we belong to a country, where women have always been more absorbing of a man’s past. So, when a man steps out of his comfort zone and rallies behind his woman, it automatically puts him in a favourable position. When Anil Kumble’s wife Chetana was plagued with a bitter custody battle with her ex-husband and much was written about it, Kumble clearly laid bare his loyalties and stood by her through it all. Jamie Stewart, a sports and entertainment consultant, says, “Kumble’s is a case of till death do us apart. He is a guy of great character. And I feel new India is home to men with conviction. Today there is greater parity between genders, so a woman’s past is not necessarily a cause of worry.”
It isn’t always a scratchproof past especially if you are a celebrity. Aishwarya’s unsettling past has always made her clamp up and the reported mighty dump she gave Viveik Oberoi, made her at one point, a vicious lady with a one-point agenda. Yet Abhishek wooed her in style and the supposedly stern Jaya Bachchan embraced the bahu rani. However Alyque Padamsee has a different view, “I have never met a new age man who isn’t never under his mother’s thumb. Many years ago, I wanted to marry a girl who was a divorcee. My parents were shocked and gave me a choice. I let go of the family fortune and married my first wife, Pearl. Love is an irresistible force, that even when it meets an immovable object like traditional parents, it charts its own path. So, even if Anil Ambani stood by Tina Munim, it is because he had great conviction. Unlike most men who are daring when it comes to business deals but succumb to societal pressure when it comes to marriage.”
Surbhee Soni, a clinical psychologist, says, “The moral fibre of a man has changed. Although such relationships might have bouts of insecurities or the past haunting them due to mistrust, these relationships are founded on acceptance of the past and moving on.”