A woman might be sociable, affluent and happy but if she were single, the chances are she’d be branded. From a commitment phobic nymph to someone who is too vain to let her figure suffer motherhood, single women, despite their success have suffered such epithets, from men and even their own female bunch. Sushmita Sen
might be the first Indian woman to have won Miss Universe and put Indian beauty on the international map. Undoubt-edly, she epitomised bohemian, at a time when the bhartiya naari was too busy saying, ‘Shhh don’t mention it’.
Kanchan Chander, one of India’s celebrated artists says, “It is very Indian to think single women are incomplete without a man. When in actual fact our spirit to stay single and successful should be commended. I am certainly not unhappy with my single status.”
While Jennifer Aniston still tops the hot charts and remains super successful, reams of press have been dedicated to her bed hopping, toy-boy crushes and even her misery of losing Brad Pitt. She is many things aside from the husband-hungry babe she is portrayed to be. A yoga enthusiast, a great dinner date and perhaps America’s only girl-next-door, but she is still essentially flawed in the minds of naysayers, as they see her as a lonely ageing biddy.
And the calls get only more insidious if the woman is an achiever. Indian mentality hasn’t evolved enough to let a woman be more successful than her prospective man. Thenny Meija, socialite agrees, “When I moved back to India 10 years ago to head a BPO, I was taken aback by the chauvinistic remarks men would make, unprovoked. Men find a woman’s financial independence too much to handle, they prefer their woman to ask them for pocket money. Their egos need to be satiated and I don’t think a single successful woman does that.”
Allowing women to cast aside their fears, Tamara Mellon was recently quoted in The Daily Mail saying, “I would love to inspire women to take responsibility for themselves, not to be dependent on men.”
Delving into why sisterhood is often a warped notion, design consultant Nisha Jamvwal says, “Single women work harder on their sex appeal. This makes some married Indian women extremely insecure. They rarely keep themselves fit and well informed. Intrinsically they realise that they’ve lost the spark and this insecurity manifests itself in a deep suspicion of any single thing in a skirt.”
Jealousy could perhaps prompt women to claw into the saucy single woman, but men are not far behind, despite their progressive finances or education. Kalyani Chawla, Vice-president, Marketing, Christian Dior says, “If you are single and liberated in your thought, you in some way become intimidating to a man, who feels threatened by your confidence. Indian women have it hard as even if they are successful, they have to cow down in front of their husband. I think it is women with a personality and that ‘I can manage’ attitude which seems to be the problem here, men like them to be dependent and always looking for approval, maybe that’s why I am still single.”
Men sometimes may get their ego exhaust fumes from a woman’s success, but most certainly single women are the full-loaded versions equipped with sass, strategy and sobriety to surge ahead with élan.