My journey in the industry has been like a chessboard, almost like a love affair. Some days are good and some bad. But it has been a fulfilling journey from Haryana to Hollywood without any mentor or godfather. Life for a woman is difficult anywhere, not just in the film industry. I have learnt that you shouldn’t get too exhilarated with success or too depressed with failure. It is part of an actor’s career. Your job is to do your work as an actress to the best of your ability. That is what I have tried to do.
I always dreamt of making it big, but for that I had to incur the wrath of my family. Only my brother stood by me. I have always been the rebel in my family. If everybody went left, I wanted to go right. My family always knew that I would do something out-of-the-box. My parents had a tough time. But they have not forgiven me till date. They come from an ultra conservative background. My mother has softened towards me over a period of time, but not my father. I don’t want to dwell in the past.
After all the rebellion, I was glad for the kind of adulation I’ve got from my fans not only in Bollywood but Hollywood too. My worries just drifted away. God has been extremely kind to me and he has exceeded my expectations. But one thing I realised when I went there (Hollywood) was that people were not deceitful. They were more open and spoke their minds. I made more friends there. But I had to come back to my roots.
When I joined the film industry there was a lot of hue and cry about my movies. I knew I had to fight my own battles. When I kissed on screen, everyone went “Oh my God!” Now it’s mainstream and everyone is following it. I started wearing swimsuits and everyone looked down on it. Now everyone is doing it. I came to be known as a sex symbol.
Initially, I was upset wondering whether it’s a good thing or not. But then I thought, “What was wrong in being a sex symbol?” It’s better to be a symbol of something than not being a symbol at all. I realised that it is good to be a trendsetter rather than follow a trend. I realised that for everything you do in life you have to pay a price and I have paid mine.
But look at the dichotomy. I have been shunned by the older generation for the image that I have. They are traditionalists and are always opposed to change. I don’t expect their support. But the youth have been very open to me. They send me fan mails and ask me to guide them — especially girls from villages who have dreams in their eyes. They ask me to show them the way to make it to the top without a godfather. At the same time I also get court cases that ban me from doing certain things.
I learnt to deal with my mistakes. I will pick my battles carefully and choose wisely, because talent lies in the choices I make.
As told to Shama Bhagat