After David Arquette and actress Courteney Cox made the shock announcement that they were parting ways after 11 years of marriage, David made another statement that came as a bit of a surprise. He said that he was seeking therapy to deal with the break-up of his marriage to Courteney, with whom he has a six-year-old daughter, Coco.
Women have for long been held as the gender that “suffers” more after a break-up, while men have been depicted as only too willing to move on to the next “fish”. Will this open proclamation by David change this perception? Or is it that men are just beginning to be more open about their emotional vulnerability?
“Yes, men are being more open now,” says tech blogger Nimish Sawant. “In fact, when I went through a bad break-up
recently, I found myself narrating the same old story of what happened etc. etc. to my friends. In fact, to semi-strangers. This is because you can discuss details that you can’t otherwise with common friends.”
Advertising executive Clint Fernandes has a similar post-break-up story to narrate. “I was shattered for a long time after a relationship didn’t work out. I didn’t need to use
professional therapy though, because my friends acted as makeshift therapists. Copious amounts of alcohol also helped!” he says.
When Clint says this, he’s also ascribing to a long-held ideal of the lovelorn man drinking his way into heart-rending oblivion, as made famous by Devdas. But it’s an ideal that still has plenty of takers. Like journalist Siddharth Parwatay, “What emotional cost? When I went through a break-up, I followed a strict regimen of drinking and quickly hooking up with someone else.”
Noted musician Hariharan however, thinks the trend is a good one. “Men have souls, just as women do. And if they suffer any sort of emotional damage, it’s always better to talk about it, rather than carry that sort of baggage with you,” he says, adding. “Whenever I’m low, I turn to music.”
Clint adds, “Men today are open about the emotional side-effects of a break-up, especially with their friends. You can just look at a man and know if he’s had a bad break up. It reflects in everything — from his status messages to the ones on his T-shirt. He will also refuse to shave, get a haircut and in certain extreme cases, refuse to even shower or leave his bedroom.”
We hope that isn’t the game plan David Arquette is
planning to follow.