Irish men are living at home well into their 30s, says a new study. Greek men are indeed mamma’s boys, says another. And stories also abound of the Indian male, tied to his mother’s pallu. The depiction of men as mamma-dependent creatures has been around for ages. Bollywood heartthrobs Salman Khan and Ranbir Kapoor in fact, wear the tag proudly, admitting that when it comes to decision-making, mom knows best. But is this too much of a generalisation for the male species?
“Men can’t think for themselves,” asserts singer Neha Bhasin. “But it’s a cultural thing. What I find odd though is how men expect their wives to learn to do everything just the way their mothers did, overnight!”
Sneha Khale, a 26-year-old research associate, agrees. “I’ve seen educated men, doctors and the like, who are completely swayed by what their mothers tell them to do when they’re looking to get married. And the mothers never find anyone good enough for their boys.” Sneha is thankful that her fiancé is a different sort of man. “He loves his mother a lot, but he’s lived on his own for too long — nearly eight years. So he’s got the right mixture of love, respect…and distance,” she says.
Men have a devious reason for subscribing to the mamma’s boys ideal, says investment adviser Ankush Makhija. “I think, on the whole, Indian men aren’t mamma’s boys. We just pretend to be. Also, we like being waited on hand and foot by our mothers, because we know our better halves certainly won’t!”
However, there are some men who believe the idea, while true a few years ago, certainly isn’t now. “I left home when I was 13,” says Harpreet Baweja, currently seen on MTV’s MF101 show. “When it comes to Indian men, you’ll find that we’re becoming increasingly independent of our families. Eighty per cent of my friends are living away from their families — they all like their space, they’re all very independent, but they’re also very attached to their families.”