Everything is going great guns and you may think that you’ve snared the perfect mate. But your date may not agree. From the way you mollycoddle him/her to relying on your date to be happy, the signs may be many. Here are four ways that people usually mess up a great relationship. But you can avoid them.
w Many times people think that having a great relationship will finally make them happy and complete. When you do this, you put your happiness in someone else’s hands. Not fair to you or your partner. Choose instead to be happy on a moment-to-moment basis and make yourself responsible for it rather than your partner.
w We all love a great story, but in relationships, it’s important to distinguish between an event that happened and the story about the meaning of the event. For example, if your partner is not as affectionate on a particular day, you might start thinking “He/She is losing interest in me... I knew it!” When in reality, your partner may be feeling under the weather or had a difficult day at work. Instead, when you find yourself giving deeper meaning to what your partner does, remind yourself that it isn’t about you.
w Sometimes when people, particularly women, have a great relationship with a wonderful man, their “nurture” gene kicks in. They drop everything to become a support system for their partner, most times leaving their own projects and dreams in the wake. But you should believe in the power and promise of your own dreams. It’s great to be a supportive ear, but always keep your dreams alive. This makes you a complete person and much more attractive to be with too!
w Often, when couples have been together for a while, and get into the day-to-day comings and goings, people begin to withhold affection and support, thinking “Well, I’m not being shown enough affection, so I’ll just pull back and withhold my affection too.” What this does is create a cycle of scarcity. Defensive and protective walls start being built between you which can later be difficult to overcome. It’s better to show love freely than begin playing games. You could show affection in different ways, even if you think your partner isn’t being that loving lately. Give love without expecting a certain outcome from your partner. Give love for the simple joy of expressing yourself.
— MCT