Greed is good,” says Gordon Gekko in the cult film Wall Street. But if you are cheating on your partner both financially and emotionally, then you really need, well, help. The recent incident involves Prabhjod Singh, a resident of Moti Nagar who allegedly tried to extort Rs 60 lakh from his teenage girlfriend’s parents. This highlights how young love-birds fall prey to those, who are not looking for love, but a bank balance. Another example could be seen on Emotional Atyachar recently where Sudhiksha had allegedly lent a huge sum of money to her boyfriend Manish, who failed to clear the loyalty test.
Break-ups can be hard to handle, and the pain is doubled when you realise that it was only financial ties that kept you bonded. Within a month into the relationship, Atif who was dating Natasha started cooking up stories about his business falling apart, following which she lent him Rs 30,000. “I was blinded by love. He took the money from me promising to return it within a month. But even after five months, he didn’t even offer to pay it back. Even when we met once in two weeks, he didn’t bother to pay for our date. When we broke up, I asked him to return the money,” she recalls. Many of us have been through similar experiences, haven’t we? While some choose not to ask for money out of respect for the relationship, others wait for the right time to settle their dues. “When in love, keep your guard up,” suggests psychologist Dr Rima Sehgal. “Be it your credit cards, cash, or cheque book, everything should be confidential. Even if you lend money to your partner make sure that you’re just lending it, and he has to return it after a stipulated time,” she says.
What makes it strange is the fact that despite repeated unofficial warnings from friends and family, many fail to understand the intentions of their partner. “My sister was dating a guy for three years and often lent him money. When I warned her, she did so without telling me. I don’t know why people bring money into relationships. Money is always the spoiler,” says Shreya, a call centre employee.
“I’m in a relationship for the last seven years and my boyfriend is from an affluent family, but since we’re living in, we often pool in money for our expenses. But often I’m the only one spending money for household stuff, while he just spends it on night outs with friends and later makes excuses like he lost his wallet,” says Neha, a media professional.
Relationships are a two way street. Although we talk about “unconditional love” in relationships, there’s a lot of quid pro quo in the early stages. Dr Rajiv Anand, a marriage counsellor suggests, “Since love grows with time, in the first few weeks of claiming love if one person begins seeking financial help, it indicates that motives are somewhat different and not very noble.”
(Few names have been changed on request.)