Beauty of life lies in its flaws

[1]

Amrit Sadhana [1]

The art of story-telling is deeply ingrained in the Chinese wisdom as it is one of the most ancient civilisations of the world. Ancient people were not so talkative, they conveyed the truth indirectly, through stories. It was painting in words. It is difficult to capture the delicacy and the subtle simplicity that are so characteristic of Chinese folk literature in other languages. They depict a profound truth in simple anecdotes.
I came across a beautiful story I would like to share with you.
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”
The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house”.
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
Our relations would be so much juicier and friendlier if every one of us remembers this. Basically everybody thinks that s/he is perfect and flawless, it’s the other who is wrong. And the other person thinks the same way. So there is no common ground. But the irony is that we are living through relationships, it is part of our life. Imagine life without anybody to relate to. Won’t it be utterly empty and boring?
Relating is an art. It is as creative as painting or making music.
The older woman in the story did not scoff at the pot or make it feel guilty about it. She planted some seeds instead so that the dripping water could be used in a beautiful way.
Wish we could do the same to each other: compensating for what the other person does not have, or use their flaws creatively. It needs compassion and love in the heart which can be developed by meditation. Remember the elderly grannies or grandpas in the family who always extended their shoulder to lean on, their hands were there to wipe the tears of sobbing hearts. They would cover up the mistakes of youngsters and save them from a reprimand. Such loving hearts are missing in today’s system. This story is a soothing recollection of those days — can they be ushered once again?
Osho says, relating to people is a sophisticated art, it is a great meditation.
The person who is not capable of being with others will find it very difficult to relate with himself because the art of relating is the same: whether you relate with others or you relate with yourself does not make much difference, it is the same art.
Be with people, and not unconsciously, but very consciously. Relate with people as if you are singing a song, as if you are playing on a flute; each person has to be thought of as a musical instrument.
Be very careful, very attentive. Remember what you are saying, remember what you are doing. Just small things destroy relationships, and small things make relationships so beautiful.
Life has to be learned as an art: very cautiously, very deliberately... So relationship with others has to become a mirror: see what you are doing, how you are doing it and what is happening to the other? Change your ways. Beautify life around yourself.
And when you are alone sit utterly silent, and watch yourself: watch your breathing, watch your thoughts, watch your memories, watch yourself in your totality without interfering. That is the art of meditation.

— Amrit Sadhana is in the management team of Osho International Meditation Resort, Pune. She facilitates meditation workshops around the country and abroad.