As if the divide between Mars and Venus was not complex enough, a recent survey has entangled it further. Responses of a global survey have indicated that a man who earns less than his spouse is more prone to cheating on her. While the debate continues on whether or not the two factors are connected, the topic resonates myriad reactions from men, women and experts across the country.
Although most men are not consciously aware of such a reaction, they don’t brush away its possibility altogether either. Says television actor Chetan Hansraj, “It’s possible that a man may feel jealous and in his mind cheating on his wife might seem a way of getting even with her.” However, he also feels there are men who’d love it for their partners to earn more, and he confesses being one of them. “You get to chill and enjoy life if that’s the case,” he says. Psychologist Dr Ruksana Ayaz testifies the view further. “Sometimes men do tend to be more obliging and makes things easier for their financially superior spouse. But I also feel that income is not a necessary benchmark for infidelity,” she says.
Experts, however, remain divided on the matter. Eminent divorce lawyer Mrunalini Deshmukh says, “I partially agree with this. Men who earn less live with an inferiority complex. And to overcome that, they tend to seek pleasure outside, just to feel good about themselves. Then there’s another kind, who become aggressive, tend to harbour vengeful tendencies and end up cheating on their partners.”
But there are also a few who disregard the survey altogether. “I don’t think the findings are relevant in the Indian context. In the changing market scenario, such a phenomenon is common. And a man’s effort is always on to better his position for the sake of his family. It can at the most be a passing phase. But I can’t link the two,” says Dr Hozefa A. Bhinderwala, consulting psychiatrist.
Arnav Saxena, a software engineer says, “A man is a naturally insecure being. He might feel that cheating on his wife will provide for an ego massage. My ego would take a beating if she earns more than me. But I wouldn’t resort to cheating on her for that reason. That’s sheer extreme.”