Sell off the Queen's swans. Make lawmakers work for free. Force prison inmates to generate cheap power on the treadmill.
As Britain's government decides how to make the toughest spending cuts in decades, it has asked the public for help. The result? A list of wild ideas on how to save money — proposals that Treasury chief, Mr George Osborne, insists will be seriously considered as he draws up a five-year austerity plan.
Mr Osborne wants to save £30 billion per year to quickly reduce Britain's huge national debts, racked up as the previous government bailed out banks and launched stimulus programs during the global financial crisis.
He has ordered government departments to prepare for budget cuts of 25 per cent to raise £30 billion per year in savings and will announce details of his plans in a major speech in October.
Ministers have already announced a slate of cuts — axing 700 new schools, halting payments to pregnant women to fund healthier diets and scrapping 10 billion pounds (US$15 billion) worth of projects agreed under ex-Prime Minister, Mr Gordon Brown.
But the country's Conservative-led coalition government says it needs help to meet its ambitious target, not least because Osborne intends to balance Britain's books almost exclusively by cutting costs, not raising taxes.
More than 45,000 ideas for savings have been posted on the Treasury's website by members of the public and government workers. They range from the deliberately extreme — scrapping Britain's monarchy, to the seemingly sensible — have staff book hotels online, not through expensive travel brokers.
"We asked everyone across the country — the people who use our schools, hospitals, transport systems and other public services — to send in their ideas for how to save public money and get more out of our services," said a Treasury spokeswoman, on condition of anonymity in line with policy.
Among edgier ideas are plans to put Britain's population of almost 100,000 prisoners to work.