“You do not know how to turn a man on. See how heroines seduce heroes,” accused Murugan. His wife Rama retorted, “Why bother? You are like a sparrow. Before I get started, you are done with.” This is the scene in many bedrooms.
When it comes to sexual arousal, men’s arousal is through visual stimulation and because of this, the sexual response is quick. However, the woman’s arousal is dependent on cognitive (thoughts, feelings) stimuli. Hence, they take a longer time to get aroused.
Many men fail to realise that it is not sufficient if they are set to sprint and are on their mark. They should learn to take their partners along and adjust to the pace of the partner. Consider the sex act as a three-act play — foreplay, play and afterplay.
Foreplay does not have to start in the bed. It can start much before with even a kind of teasing. Try developing some sexual signals that lets your partner know you are thinking of having sex.
What men don’t realise is that it often takes women longer to get in the mood. Women are much more aware of the setting, the surroundings and the mood. Women are inclined to hang on to their anger, resentment and disappointment. They need a little more transition time.
Tips For Men:
Set the scene. Whisper sweet nothings before you drag her to the bed. Start with non-genital caressing before you reach out. She needs to be reassured that you care about her as a person.
Tips For Women:
Communicate your needs and wants. If he does not know what you want, he can’t give it to you. Guide him as to how to caress you. Wear sexy lingerie under your clothes while at home.
The writer is a sexologist. You can mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com [1]
Links:
[1] mailto:dr.narayana@deccanmail.com