Two’s romantic, three’s a crowd

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Few days back I launched a book, the central theme of which is a girl falling in love with her best friend’s boyfriend. I was surprised when the debate became very involved with the audience vociferously discussing the subject. People addressed questions galore about this dilemma.

Is it a done thing? Should one sacrifice one’s friendship at the alter of romance?
Yes, it’s most possible that we find what doesn’t belong to us beguiling and attractive. How many movies are made with art imitating life, where in a love triangle the actor lusts after his best friend’s girlfriend? Or a girl lusts after her friend’s boyfriend. It’s a personal opinion, but I’d vote against it.
Friendships take much sacrifice, nurture, hard work, and it would not be wise to throw it to the winds for a man who might easily dump you for yet another woman seeing that he let go of your friend for you. Could it be that an unavailable entity appears more attractive to you because he is the forbidden fruit? Could it also be that a girl would pursue or be attracted to her friend’s boyfriend because she lacks self-esteem and feels she would display her power by winning an unattainable man? I’d say these are not real reasons for love, and to create a guilt-free relationship that doesn’t start with baggage at the outset, one should go for a man for the right reasons.
A man who dumps a woman for another, because he finds her attractive while he is already in a relationship, is also somewhat suspect. Why would he even be open to checking out options if he was committed? Could it also be that you’re just jealous of your best friend finding great love before you? You may just be feeling left out and resentful and wanting the greener grass on the other side. To look at yourself long and hard at the mirror is part of growing up in a balanced way and becoming a likable person, to yourself and to others.
The smart route then is to look elsewhere, keep your friendship with both the best friend and her man. Do not carry guilt, instead acknowledge your feelings to yourself and address them with discipline — realising the risks and consequences. You don’t have to cut ties with your friend and her boyfriend. Instead, you have to school your own emotions which might not be love but just a simple crush.
Whatever you do, there is no need to confide in either of them, but direct your affections elsewhere in a dignified way. Remember, the easiest way to stop caring for one is to care for another. Stop checking out their Facebook updates, being inquisitive and obsessive about their romance, look away and elsewhere.
Bring in some space and take time out without breaking your friendships. Become involved with other work and hobbies that occupy you than giving into the feeling of rejection mixed with desire for a romance that is in reality unattainable.
Bollywood film Cocktail is just that, a film! Seldom would things work out in such a fairy tale euphoria. Saif Ali Khan’s philandering character is drawn to the simple Diana Penty who not only enjoys his attention but falls hopelessly in love.
We see love triangles around us often, but I’d have to say, without making it sound too simplistic, that it seldom ever works out. I have seen families being destroyed for irresponsible lust and a raunchy tryst. There is always heartache and eventual disintegration of all relationships involved in the end. And this is even worse when marriages are involved and one falls in love with one’s best friend’s husband. With a world full of interesting choices, my take on this is — why go for what should in all integrity and correctness be a ‘no entry’ zone?