Are children growing up too fast today? In two shocking incidents recently, a 12-year-old boy allegedly raped a 14-year-old girl in the capital. And in another incident, two boys, aged 12 and 10, allegedly throttled a five-year-old girl in Kolkata, when their molestation attempt misfired.
Is this a warning signal? As experts say that violence and physical intimacy at a young age are to be blamed. How can we raise our children without them going astray is what we should be asking. Even the age of sexual maturity has decreased. Sexual and physical distortion is manifesting itself leading to a surge in such crimes.
Dr Geetanjali Kumar, a psychologist says, “The kind of news, programmes children watch today, is having an impact on them. Recently, a 10-year-old child was brought to me because he hit a fellow student. When I asked him why he did so, he said, ‘I didn’t know if I hit him, blood will come out. It didn’t happen so on TV.’ When one hears this statement, it raises concern. The environment of a home is what a child witnesses first. If he sees his father respecting his mother, treating her well, the child will go on to treat women accordingly in life. Today, social graces, chivalry among men is missing.”
For some parents, becoming friends is the best option, while interacting with their children. Snigdha Sharma, mother of a 14-year-old Yash says she has raised her son like a friend. “I always tell him to respect women as he has been raised by one. But the larger picture remains instilling the right values and leading by example. I never try to contradict my statements, or lie and try and play games with him. As kids are intuitive and learn from parents, it is important to give them the right direction and perspective in life, as peer pressure can really turn their heads around.”
An open relationship with parents gives a child the space to question issues, which bother him. Says Neha Arora, entrepreneur, “Nikhil feels free to share with me what his friends are upto. He often asks me questions with a straight face and I do not shy from telling him the truth. This is an age where kids learn a lot just by watching things around them, and boys will be boys. He once shared with me that boys in his class were discussing porn. I was worried since he has access to Internet at home.”
Youngsters today are into high risk and impulsive behaviour according to Dr Deepak Gupta, child and adolescent psychiatrist with Sir Ganga Ram Hospital. He says children do things first and don’t even think of the consequences. “Children don’t have any role models. There is a complete breakdown of social system. Kids have unlimited exposure, but there is no one to tell them where to draw the line and what are the limits.”
Experts say that schools must have life skills programmes for children as well as teachers and parents must feel responsible for their wards and must stress upon value systems. Dr Samir Parikh, psychiatrist concludes, “We are not focusing enough on preventive measures. Across schools and the country, there is a need to sensitise parents, teachers as well as children.”