Don’t run after the wrong things

[1]

I became friends with a girl recently. But after sometime discovered that she already has a boyfriend. But we started chatting and I really liked her innocence. We started sharing everything without any inhibitions within days. She developed a soft corner for me because I told her that I have never chatted with a girl before her. We became friends on Facebook where she discovered that there’s one girl in my friends’ list. Prior to this she had mentioned that she doesn’t like guys befriending many girls. And soon after discovering this she told me that her parents are creating trouble for her and she cannot talk to me. I guess she is avoiding me. I feel bad that I lost her trust. Can you please help me?
Hari Krishna

A. I think you may be presuming the reason for her to stop talking to you. I don’t think it’s because you have a female friend. There must be some other reason and most probably the one she gave you. Let time pass and she may start talking to you again once she is comfortable. Also, if she is in a relationship herself she won’t be upset if you have friends who are girls. It, according to me, is like having a friend who is a boy.
I think you must allow her the space she wants. I think you must focus on other things as there is no point expecting something from someone as you cannot impose yourself. So you may feel bad but time will heal. Spend time with other friends. Do something important. Change your focus. Follow your dream, studies and job. Learn, grow and contribute. As Indians, we have developed fixed ideas and feel the need to live by them. Feeling low does happen but beyond a point it does not mean anything to anyone.

I have to get married next year due to pressure from my girlfriend’s parents. But since she’s the only person I have ever been with, I want to know what I’ll be missing after I get married. So I want to try and have as many affairs as possible in this one-year. Is it a crazy idea?
Saurabh

A. Well, what would you say if your girl friend felt the same way? However, only a man can come up with insecurities that are of the mind and often blame girls saying that their fears are imaginary. What could you be missing? You have a relationship which is good I’m assuming. If she makes you laugh, feel secure and comfortable, understands you, respects you, grounds you, you should not be worried at all because good relationships are a rare fortune, a treasure, something that people lack — trust, love and joy. This be-cause we are all running after the wrong things.