The road to Roadie

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I am a happy bunny these days, bouncing about in absolute delight. You see, for years after I was all grown up and adult, I would stare with a dazed expression at the younger lot who are truly daffy. But I finally see light. Because our new lot, with their kachchas and ass cracks showing, and ears plugged by headphone and hands forever busy texting, are really kinda awesome.

And there’s no greater showcase for their talents than their favourite show, Roadies (MTV).
Ek hamara zamana tha, when papa would tell us, “Beta, you have no talent, no skill, no passion, so just sit for the civils and leave this house, please.” The other, brighter lot had a different conversation with their papas because they had passion, about being a doctor, an engineer, a teacher, a banker.
These days all papas are petrified and their nightmare scenarios range from, “Dad, I’m going to pursue a career in creative porn, you know like Savita Bhabhi, but this one will have bhabhis, jijas, massi, mama and of course, mummy and papa”, to their daughter arriving in shiny thongs and boots and saying, “Dad, I’m going to be an item girl.”
But papajis should stop shuddering because no matter what happens, these children have real life skills which they are currently demonstrating in the auditions for the 10th season of Roadies. This year’s Roadies is special because we will get two teams — one team of ex-Roadies under the guidance of Raghu, and the other of new recruits under VJ Rannvijay.
From the couple of episodes I have watched it’s clear that these kids are resourceful, passionate even if slightly deranged. And taklu Raghu is the modern sarathi of these Arjuns. His war cry is simple: “Main tumhara baap hoon... Don’t try to teach your father how to f***.”
Now people like you and me would be appalled by this behaviour. But aaj ke bachche are unfazed. They scream in jubilation, whisk out their cell phones, make videos and forward it to their BFFs with boasts about how they were just 20 feet away from Raghu.
You may wonder what the big deal is about this bald guy. You’ll find the answer in the vacant expressions of kids who can’t string a sentence but have been trying to audition for Roadies for four-five years, some even sacrificing their 10th ke boards because they were preparing for Roadies which requires, at the very least, a vast vocabulary of Hindi and English abuses, the skill to date more than three girls/boys at any given point of time and the confidence to strip, eat shit, and talk nonsense ad nauseam.
The kids are so focused on becoming a Roadie that they openly offer papaji’s money, anywhere from `1,000 to `10 lakh to Raghu. There are hordes and hordes who will do anything to be a Roadie. Why? Because life, you know, is really a bumpy bloody road.