Public apologies seldom work

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Kristen Stewart

Finding someone saying ‘sorry’ in public is as good as finding a needle in a haystack. But when Hollywood actress Kristen Stewart decided to tread the difficult path and reach out to her now ‘ex’ boyfriend by offering a public apology for cheating on him, did it really help?

Many would agree it did not. Kristen, who admitted cheating on boyfriend Robert Pattinson with director Rupert Sanders, could not get Robert back despite her public apology. In fact, her efforts put her in the public arena where she got brickbats for being the wrong doer.
Many agree that confessing your mistake in front of the whole world is not a wise act if it is a personal matter. Actor and singer Karan Oberoi says, “I don’t agree with offering an apology in public if it is an internal matter between two people. Why put everything in the public domain just to clear your name? And I feel it does not help in cementing the relationship in any way. I believe individuals should communicate directly and the love and the care they shared earlier can help them get back even if it is a very serious problem.”
Actress Richa Chadda too feels it is useless to make your personal matter public. “Why should you involve the whole world when it is a relationship between you and your partner? Making a public apology is okay only if you don’t have a direct communication channel open with your partner, otherwise, it all gets reduced to a farce which everyone outside seems to be enjoying at your cost. People should realise relationships are private and personal where one person pledges just to their partner and not to the whole world,” says Richa.
However, some feel public apologies are individual calls. Actor Samir Soni agrees with this. “I feel apologising in public shows that the person is going in the right direction by admitting his mistakes in front of everyone. Plus, it gives the person concerned some solace. But apologising is not enough; it should be done with pure intentions. Accepting your guilt is a noble act but one should be prepared to face the wrath,” says he.
Any personal matter becomes a public issue if it involves celebrities. “If a famous person apologises in public, it should not be confused with washing dirty linen in public because so many people, especially the media is hounding them. Admitting your mistake in front of them means that you are making a public statement from the roof tops,” says Samir.
Karan feels celebrities should not succumb to public pressure. “Even if you are a public figure, you should solve the matter behind closed doors. All you need to do is to make a phone call and apologise.”
Dr. Rima Sehgal, counsellor and psychologist, feels there is no surety that a public apology would work. “Normally we don’t see a couple share their problems with the whole world. But again it depends on how they reach out to each other and communicate their apology. Offering an apology in public is one way of saying that we are willing to go through this humiliation to redeem ourselves. Still, it depends on how you empathise with your partner,” she says. Samir adds a bit of caution. “At times, apologising in public can also backfire. Look at what happened in Hansie Cronje’s case. He was shamed in front of the world. It’s kind of a double assault.”