If you want beer, go to Germany. If you want government-sanctioned drugs, come to Varanasi. If you can enjoy the perks of buying hashish from the corner chai shop, you really oughtn’t complain about glycerol in the beer.
Besides, we're tired of hearing the same old story, obtained, no doubt from a severely outdated version of Lonely Planet, about the beer, about the amount of excrement in the Ganga, where people will swim anyway, an opinion paradoxically followed by India's supposed failed attempts at Westernisation. More than anything, we're tired of the cow jokes.
Dave Besseling, author of The Liquid Refuses to Ignite and keen observer of the above clichés, takes that bit of criticism in remarkably good spirit. The first chapter will not put you off, for his style is gripping, his perspective thoroughly irreverent and undoubtedly intelligent. In town to launch his debut novel, he says, "With the Varanasi chapter, I was trying so hard to avoid the cliche spirituality, making fun of the people who meditate by the Ganga every morning. But then, as you try to get away from that, you see there's no avoiding it. Whether you're in Varanasi looking for enlightenment or a pub, you're going to run into the same old, hackneyed stuff," he says.
Having lived in India for the better part of a year in 2008-09, however, Besseling has shrugged off the cliches, reconciling his impression of India and her many marvels, summing it all up beautifully with, "Living in India is like having a relationship with a girl – she's very pretty, very smart and has quite the temper!" Besseling's stories unravel through remembrances, seemingly brought on while he sat at a table in Benares, drinking a glass of lassi that seemed to bring on much intense reflection! And so we go with our eloquent wanderer, to a hallucinogen wandering across the globe. There’s a Tokyo experience laced with mescaline, cocaine and a host of other Class A’s, spent with his best friend (and possible alter ego) Dr Heagley and the lusty delights provided in a Japanese love-hotel with a beautiful Japanese girl.