Chance pe dance

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Isha Sharvani with choreographer Salman

Sach kehte hain buzurg log. Good things don't last. Jhalak Dikhla Jaa 5 — that entertaining, A-class celebrity dance show has gone fat and foul. Though it arrived last week with a heavyweight, and heavy-set, judges’ panel, and two new anchors, one of whom (Manish) is very funny, the ensemble of celebrity dances looks like it’s the next season’s Boss line-up that’s lost its way. Sach kehte hain buzurg, good things don’t last.

Though we have much love for Madhuri Dixit, Karan Johar and even choreographer Remo D’Souza, Ms Dixit and Mr Johar made such thakeli entries that I have very low hopes from the show.
Low hopes bole toh, the contestants come to mind, a Gang of Diddly-Squats, not counting Sanath Jayasuriyaji, of course. I toh had to hire a private investigator to find out ki yeh kaun log hain, aur kya karte hain. Take a look at the khufia jasoos’ report.
CricChicks: Archana Vijaya does some chit-chat before and after IPL matches. She has a nice body, but no matter how much she jiggles her behind, she’s not going to be a favourite. She’s very smug and annoying. Shibani Dhandhekar, another seminal cricket commentator, has a nice personality and lots of namak. Matlab, lambi race ki sundar si ghodi.
Two simpering bahus with saas: Pratyusha Banerjee (Anandi from Balika Vadhu) is a graceful dancer, but Gia Manek (Gopi from Saathiya) always looks so dukhi-dukhi that she should not be allowed in front of a TV camera till she learns another expression. Strict telly saasu-ma Jayati Bhatia is spunky and fabulous.
Fattiyon ki Mascot: Telly comedian Bharti Singh is funny and fun, but it’s difficult to tell whether her body parts are wobbling on their own or she is consciously moving them.
Aadmi, aam & khaas: KBC crorepati Sushil Kumar is a sweet non-contender, just like ghazal singer Talat Aziz. Windbag and Bigg Boss loser Ravi Kissen will lose again, because of his ego. Jayasuryaji, the awfully cute legend, can only do slo-mo chhakka and chaukka dance steps. But, still, we have respect!
There’s also TV ke Ramji, Gurmeet Choudhary. A desi Tarzan, he can swing around Jane and Janaki together, but he can’t string a coherent sentence. So every time Gurmeet is asked a question, he flexes his biceps and grins. Down boy, down.
Sweet little Darsheel Safary just has to dance slowly to Maa from Taare Zameen Par and pura Bharat desh will be crying and voting for him.
Raat kaali ek khwaab mein...: The only real dancer on the show, Isha Sharvani ko dekh ke lagta hai jaise koi pari apne pankh dhoondne dharti par aayi hai. Hai! Aur kya rope tricks and pirouette karti hain! Sundar, atti sundar.