Anurag Basu
I was diagnosed with acute leukaemia in 2004 when I was shooting for my debut venture Tumsa Nahi Dekha. I was feeling healthy and surprisingly not at all ill. However, cancer is a silent disease and multiplies immediately and quickly. It started becoming worse everyday. I did not know what was wrong. I was admitted to Lilavati Hospital. Nobody was telling me anything. The doctors were trying to diagnose the problem.
When I was in the hospital my wife, Tani who was pregnant at that time did not come to meet me. I realised that everybody refused to look me in the eye while talking to me. I was puzzled. One day Mahesh Bhatt came bravely to the hospital. He was the boldest and had to break the news to me. He kept his hand on my forehead and his hands were trembling. I could see tears flowing down his face.
I was shocked. He was one of those few men who never feared anything in life, and here he was crying. I knew something was terribly wrong. I made him sit beside me and asked him what was wrong. He did not speak so I called the doctors and told them that they have to tell me the truth.
It was then that he broke the news that I was suffering from cancer. I just froze. I was shocked at the news and totally unnerved with the reality that I had very few days to live. The doctors told me gently that I had just two months to live. I immediately thought of my wife, who was pregnant then and all I really longed for was to see my child.
At this time, my film was half done. However, I directed parts of the film from the hospital bed, as the shooting schedule could not be cancelled. I would give instructions on a dictaphone, talk about camera angles and treatment of the script, and do as much as I could to complete the film.
One day when I was busy scripting for the scene from the hospital, a young boy who was also suffering from acute leukaemia in bed next to mine, died. His death totally shook me up. I was upset and nervous. My first thought was that if a boy as young as him could die, how could I survive? I felt very defeated and lost the purpose of survival. I saw death at such close quarters that it made me sweat and shiver constantly. I had lost all the will power to survive.
I saw my pregnant wife entering the room. My focus shifted on her and I said to myself, “No, I cannot die like this. I have to see my child. I have to survive to take care of both my wife and child.” I decided to put all this at the back of my mind and fight to live on. Later I was shifted to Tata Hospital for treatment. It was during this phase that Mahesh Bhatt and Mohit Suri finished the film as I underwent chemotherapy. Tani was always beside me, trying to cajole me and take care of me. I would look at her and my fight for the disease became stronger. I wanted to see my child. This child, albeit unborn then, gave me a reason to want to fight.