New Age Bachchan

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This had to be a nightmare. It wasn’t, it was actually transpiring right before my eyes at a sardine-packed award function. The evening was unusually chilly, cumulous clouds loitered over the open-air venue.

Perhaps this person’s performance on stage constructed for the event at Mumbai’s Film City had even invoked the wrath of the gods.
The person in question was Adnan Sami, who has been in the news mostly for his quarrels with his begums. Now that’s his business. Snag is that here he was lip-syncing to his own recorded voice, dancing and mock-singing as if there were no tomorrow... or day after. At one crucial twist of the choreographed number, he was joined by chorus girls costumed as angels with stick-on wings; the angels shook as if they wished to fly away with him to the heavens. Sami would have none of that, though, to remain earthbound he flirted (while dancing) lasciviously with the fairies. The girls smiled patiently, flew off suddenly as if they couldn’t take it any more and returned for the next song — without the wings.
Now, I could have gone for a walk if the songster’s stage act was murdering me softly. I couldn’t because Adnan Sami’s dance act was designed as a serious tribute to Amitabh Bachchan. Vintage photos of Mr B and Jaya Bhaduriji,who went on to become Mrs B, were flashed on the video screens spread over the venue’s maidan. An Abhimaan song was re-Adnaned, Kabhi Kabhie was warbled, but the piece de resistance had to be the woogie boogie to a Sharabi chart-buster. Sami tried to be Amitji, cool and suave. Sorry didn’t work. I was scared that this New Age Bachchan would need some tranquilisers after his act, he was that hyper and hysterical. Hainhhh?
Next: For unintentional comic effect, several male dancers — all over six feet tall and wearing Bachchan wigs covering their ears — danced along with Adnan saab. Not as exciting as the fairies, perhaps, understandably the songster fled from them to bang away at a piano. He was asweat by now, and it was apparent that the much-publicised, much-reduced physique was not exactly in Slim Jim shape. To be polite, I put my hands together at the end of his act. No one else did.
To gauge Amitabh Bachchan’s response to the tribute, we will have to wait for the show’s telecast and the superstar’s tweet or blog note. Do hope he is as polite as me. Reminder: I did clap.
Moral of the story: Mr Sami is best heard, not seen. Of course, there is the other variety too when it comes to stage presence. To be seen and not heard. Like Sanjay Dutt who can be uber cool when it comes to his better performances (Vaastav, Munnabhai) but make him a TV anchorperson, as in Bigg Boss 6, and it’s plain to see Dutt Jr is having a rough day. “Hurry-up-with-the-shenanigans-Salman-bhai-and-get-me-outta here,” his face says much too revealingly.
And it’s no secret that whenever Dia Mirza comperes an event, all is hunky and even dory, till she starts speaking. Ouch, let it beeeeee.
Honestly, there’s a saturation point. The Adnan Sami terpsichorean tribute to Bachchanji indicated that not only the songster but all of us need to sing out loud, “Let’s move to the next level please. Thodisi to lift kara de.”
Or else I won’t clap the next time — if there is one.