All set for the big Euro party

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TV sets and bar conversations around the world will be taken over from 8th of June 2012 by the 14th edition of the UEFA European Championships in Poland and Ukraine. 16 Teams — Check. 4 finalists from the last 2 World Cups — Check. Ronaldo, Rooney, Ribery, Robben, Ramos — Check. Ranting — Begins

1. Croatia
The Vatreni or the Blazers win the competition for the most unpronounceable names in the tournament. From Sime Vrsaljko to Mario Mandžukic. Solid team with important players plying their trade in Ukraine. Automatic Top 4.
MVP: Luka Modric

2. Czech Republic
Petr Cech will hope his head gear can keep out the jeers off the Czechs when he catches his early flight from Ukraine.
MVP: Take your pick.

3. Denmark
The Danes are exactly like the pastry named after them with no icing. Solid at the back, adventurous in the middle and plain at the top. Thomas Sørensen, Simon Kjaer, Christian Eriksen and NicklasBendtner — case in point.Their tournament will finish faster than you can say pastry. MVP: Eriksen.

4. England
In a way it is good that England beat Spain. The hype that died with the 4-1 thrashing by Germany in South Africa was being missed, much like English WAGs. Quarters.
MVP: Theo Walcott

5. France
There will be no surrendering here. Unless of course there is a game against Ireland. Les Blues will feel the blues at the same stage as their neighbours across the channel.
MVP: Franck Ribéry.

6. Germany
Three-time champions are with an exciting young squad. They are going to take over Europe and then the world; don’t get excited, only on football filed. Final vs Spain
MVP: Mario Gotze

7. Greece
Don’t forget they won in 2004. That is all
MVP: Any Playeroupoulous

8. Italy
Does the fact that Greeks have scored more than the entire Italina team say it all? Or does it?
MVP: Giorgio Chiellini.

9. the Netherlands
God bless ‘em for making an entire stadium look like a giant glass of TANG and for playing the total football.Semis.
MVP: ArjenRobben.

10.Poland
Each party must have a host that will tidy up when the big boys have left the group & gone (ahead). MVP: Ludovic Obraniak

11.Portugal
They are much more than Cristiano Ronaldo. And they could go all the way. If they remember that Euro 2012 is a football match and not a talent hunt. MVP: Hint, it rhymes with Ronaldo

12.Republic of Ireland
Oh! The Irish are back and I hope they win the championship. I also hope I will reach the end of the rainbow someday.
MVP: Aiden McGeady

13.Russia
In Europe you play football. In Soviet Russia, football play you. Beyond the jokes, a solid team hat should do well on plastic pitches. Quarters.

14.Spain
World Champions. European Champions. Booked for a performance against Germany on 1st July in Kiev.

15.Sweden
As exciting as a reality TV re-run.
MVP: Zlatan Ibrahimovic

16.Ukraine
The surprise team of Euro 2012. Not hide-behind-a-pillar-and-yell-surprise but one that will cause some upsets. Quarters.
MVP: Andriy Shevchenko (Yes. He’s still alive and kicking).