Swami and friends

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Kyun, aakhir kyun did Swami Agnivesh go on to Bigg Boss (Colors), even if it was sirf for do din? Was it because he wanted to salvage his dwindling image after that video drama where he was spreading the nasties about Anna Hazare & Company? Was it because Team Anna has since been pakki-kutthi with him and kept him away from all media appearances? Does he have Bollywood dreams? Or is it because of Bigg Boss5’s sad, sad TRPs?

Obviously, TRPs ka hi sara khel hai. Aap hi batao, why will people tune into a show where non-entities are forever doing bow-bow about non-issues?
But jo bhi ho, judging by Swamiji’s brief appearance in Bigg Boss’ house, I have to say two things: First toh yeh that he calmed down those snarling, barking inmates, even if for only two days, and second, that he made me laugh a lot.
First toh I laughed when he asked Pooja Mishra, “Aapka satya kya hai?”, and took her answer — “I am my soul and my soul is love” — with a straight face. I toh rolled up and down my drawing room, banging into sofas and chairs, unable to stop. And I started rolling again when he told chikna Siddharth Bhardwaj to consider a career in politics. Apparently, Swamiji saw all Bigg Boss inmates as role models. He he he. Haw-hai!
But Swamiji was sweet. He said he’ll clean the toilets, but when all the inmates started fainting at the thought of becoming chipkalis in their next life for making a swami clean their potty, he started washing bartans. They will now all return as TV reporters, condemned to ask just one profound question, “Aapko kaisa lag-raha hai?”
Several fights flared up while Swamiji was there, but he kept telling everyone to take deep breaths. Now that he has left, do din ki chandni will very soon turn into amavasya. Kutte ki dum and all that, you know.
This season of Bigg Boss is a write-off and the only way the next season will work is if the Colors people listen to me.
I would like to see Advaniji and Manmohanji sharing a double-bed in the next season. Both would have retired by then and would be more relaxed. Across them I would like Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bhaduri, on another double-bed. The ideal couple will be prerna for all twitching couples. Next to them should be Baba Ramdev and Brinda Karat. Single beds, I’m thinking. And the last single bed in the pink room should be given to Arnab ‘Enraged’ Goswami.
In the green room, I’d like Niira Radia and Barkha Dutt sharing the double, and across them a Kingfisher airhostess with Sushma Swaraj. Nita and Tina Ambani could take two single beds, and the last single bed should go to Arundhati Roy, who should be made the captain for at least the first week. Mauka sabhi ko milna chahiye.