Thaw the ice
“I find it impossible to make love to my wife! She is cold and frigid!” stated the man who had come to see me, categorically. “If she continues to be like this, I have no option but to seek my pleasure elsewhere,” he added.
The term ‘frigid’ is loosely used to allege sexual impassiveness or coldness. Frigidity is a term that was used to describe all sexual problems connected to women before the advent of Masters and Johnsons and Helen Kaplan, the pioneers of sexuality research. So the closest one can come to describing ‘frigidity’ would be sexual desire disorders, arousal disorders or oraversion disorders.
Reasons for Frigidity
There are a lot of physical, psychological and socio-cultural factors that are responsible for reduced or lack of desire in women. Conditions like kidney malfunction, excessive bleeding, drugs taken for blood pressure or depression can be causative factors. Being preoccupied by a life-threatening condition can also be a major reason. Apart from this, poor interpersonal relationship, men’s problems like erectile dysfunction can cause a dip in woman’s desire.
Pointers to the men:
Do not judge your partner keeping in mind your desire levels. It is in your interest to nurture your mate and show warmth. So reach out instead of looking at other women.
Pointers to the women:
A woman may find it easier to just detach herself from sex given some of the stress she undergoes, but in the interest of the larger picture, the woman has to realise that by being receptive to change and growth, she is doing herself a huge favour and restoring peace not only for herself but for everyone concerned.
The writer is a sexologist. You can mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com
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