Twenty four-year-old Sandeep Menon has met with two serious auto accidents in his young life. The first time, he was hit by a speeding drunk celeb and the second accident was when an elderly motorist unexpectedly crossed the road. On both occasions, Sandeep was physically injured. He received a deep scar on his face the first time. “The scar ran all the way from my left eye to my jaw bone. Those were the days when I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. The accident took me down emotionally. There was no closure either, as the drunken celebrity who rammed into me did not think it necessary to apologise. And, the second time I felt guilt when I hit a motorist, who appeared from nowhere, when he was on his way to distribute cards for his daughter’s wedding,” says Sandeep reliving the difficult times.
Auto accidents can be frightening experiences, causing severe emotional trauma and mental anxiety, for all parties involved. For Sandeep, it has been necessary to make peace with being an unfair victim the first time and later a guilty perpetrator, even though it was hardly his fault. Physical recovery from road accidents is attended to; now psychologists and counsellors are stressing on the need to release the victim’s mind from its state of shock, anxiety, guilt and confusion and help holistic healing.
Counselling psychologist Saraswathi Bhaskar explains, “An accident is a traumatic event that causes fear and worry. If there is loss or casualty, recovery takes longer. A victim is usually riddled with a sense of anger, at themselves and the perpetrator, for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. This resentment, shame or guilt trickles down to near and dear ones, causing them to become hyper-vigilant too.”
The counsellor believes that every individual displays a different coping mechanism and emotional threshold. Her experience has been that auto accidents affect the personal and professional performance of the victims. “It is not just the victim who has to come to terms with the accident, but the family and perpetrator too will have to be helped to come around the situation,” she says.
Fashion designer Rehanne, whose husband met with a terrible car accident a few years back, talks about the importance of family rallying around. “An accident brings a big change and the family needs to make the surrounding such that the accident is palatable for the person. It’s a time when you realise who your real friends are and how nothing is more important than the person you love.” Rehanne explains that an accident is a time for giving. “I understood that I was responsible for my husband’s well-being and needed to be nurturing and loyal to ensure recovery,” she says. While Rehanne emphasises that time heals all wounds, she confesses to watching over her husband, whose passion for cars and driving still continues. “I do not oppose him, nor do I encourage him. But I am by his side, watching him like a hawk,” she laughs.
Shruthi Rao, 26, says that her accident has scarred her for life. “I was hit by a truck and was thrown off my scooter, passing out cold by the side of the road. I don’t have the courage to get back on a two-wheeler. I can’t even go pillion riding anymore,” she says.
For people like Shruthi, Dr Dheep counsels, “While a patient is physically recuperating, counselling must begin within 48-72 hours. The patient is more receptive then and the impact will be more, as they will be able to relate to the advice. At this juncture, it is necessary to reinforce good behaviour. For example, if the victim was wearing a helmet at the time of accident, there should be positive reinforcement. Otherwise, he must be told that his escape was providential, despite not wearing a helmet. In any case, there should be no fault finding by family members. Two to three weeks after the accident, the victim usually swears to never ride or drive again. At this point, he or she must not be pushed into doing anything, instead the family must have a wait and watch attitude.”

Dr Dheep finds that the turning point occurs when the physical wounds begin to heal. “It is now that the patient is willing to listen as he finds that he is recovering physically. He must be encouraged to get back on his feet and the family must not display undue fear, but have a positive mind.”