MOVING ON
She’s a ghost to me,” said Sean Penn in a recent interview about his partner of 20 years, Robin Wright Penn. There’s no best way to deal with a former relationship once you’ve moved on, but some men are better at dealing with the past than others. While there are examples galore of celebs who’ve cut out all mention of the women they were previously with a la Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, we also have men like Aamir Khan, Will Smith and Bruce Willis who have maintained a public presence in the lives of their former spouses.
How you deal with your former flame depends on how well you can deal with the past, believes tech blogger Niven Samant. “I am great friends with my ex. I guess it’s all about letting go of the past and coming to terms with your own ego.” Admitting that that’s easier said than done, Niven adds, “It’s okay to be friends as long as you are completely over all the “romantic feelings”. But the moment you feel that you tend to recall the past in her presence, I guess its best to go your separate ways.”
A lot depends on how amicable the parting was, agree most guys. Delhi-based blogger Bharat Iyer says, “If it ended on mutually amicable terms, then there’s nothing wrong in staying in touch. But if it ended badly, broken ribs, police vans…well perhaps it would be wise to forget the other person exists.” On a lighter note, he quips, “Staying in touch has the advantage of break up sex!”
“To each his own” seems to be the philosophy of media professional Afzal Hassan. “There’s no knowing whether it’s right to move on or continue being in touch with your exes. For some, it’s really difficult to suddenly forget their exes, and move on with life. The only available option is to keep the ex out of their lives forever and start afresh. I think it’s all about their ability to handle a relationship, because there are people who are not affected by the presence of their exes at all,” he says.
“It all depends on our equation before we started dating,” says engineering student Varun S. “If we used to be great friends before becoming a couple, then it would be easier to maintain some civil contact. But even then, it’s not possible to completely forget the relationship and get back to being great friends. On the other hand, if we start dating without being friends for a very long time, then it’ll be difficult to salvage anything once the relationship ends.”
Seconds Niven, “Just because a relationship did not work out, does not mean that a friendship isn’t possible. And on the brighter side, you are back on the market!”
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