Getting something right every single time can’t possibly be easy. Even Steven Spielberg and Shah Rukh Khan, being the teutonic titans that they are, have had their share of cock-ups. This is all over the motoring industry as well. Do you remember the BMWs that were designed by Chris Bangle? I do. All of them could conveniently be classified between drab and hideous. At some point or other, all carmakers have been found guilty of a massive cock-up. No exceptions.
That said, just about every carmaker, including the Koreans, has a nice little sweet spot. The Japanese have their no-fuss, exceptionally reliable everyday cars, the Americans have their signature evocatively named muscle cars, the British make just about the best front-engined two-seater sportscars on the planet and the Italians engineer excitement, drama and fun into all their cars.
Germany, on the other hand, has mastered the fine art of luxury. Because let’s face it, a Rolls-Royce (which is owned by BMW) isn’t exactly a luxury car. It’s a palace on wheels. It is the equivalent of dining out on the greatest hits of Heston Blumenthal, Marco Pierre White and Gordon Ramsay three meals a day — every day. Pure indulgence.
What the Germans do best is engineer an inherent sense of luxury into their cars. Fantastic build quality, thoughtful little features that you discover over time in a package that’s almost always very easy to drive. And for a while now, THE quintessential German luxury saloon in India has been the Mercedes-Benz E-Class. And now there’s a new one. Well, not completely new, but they’ve given it enough botox to make it feel new.
I really do like the look of this thing. It looks like James Bond on his day off. Those daytime running lamps, especially in twilight, give it an aura of modern sophistication and panache. They blend in well with the redesigned front bumper and the new twin-slash grill which now contains the signature three-pointed star, which now has its own LED backlight. Nice.
Also, by no means does it look racy and dynamic because it isn’t supposed to. In profile especially, the E-Class borders on nondescriptness. But, and this you can take for granted, even if you’ve never seen this new one before, you’ll instantly be able to identify it as an E-Class. Distinctive. That’s the word I was looking for. The interior is nicely laid out as well. There’s leather everywhere and everything feels nice and tasteful yet luxurious. If you step inside the E and find that it’s a bit spartan, your upbringing must seriously be put to question. And I don’t want you at my house for dinner. That means you Mr Wannabe Liberace.
As with most Mercs these days it’s got power everything, lots of gizmos to keep you entertained and a panoramic sunroof to keep the kids entertained. And then it goes a step further with mood lighting. Although I don’t quite fancy the idea of turquoise lights on the dash and yellow lights on the door. Don’t let that put you off, though.
On to the drive. The driver’s seat is a brilliant piece of design and let me explain why. Normal cars seats have to fit a wide range of body types in whatever comfort levels their brand offers. It’s a bit different here because this has to feel like a Mercedes-Benz to all who drive it. And it does. All your other interactions with the car feel good as well, in a summer’s day on the beach kind of way. It is a brilliant car to drive in the city because of how well mannered it is. The G-Tronic double-clutch gearbox shifts gently and unobtrusively between its seven ratios and all you can hear from the 2.2L 204bhp diesel engine is a nice woooosh. It’s a very satisfying car, this E-Class and neither I nor my passengers were left wanting for anything. And yes, as you can imagine, the back seat is legendary.
On the open road, despite not having a V6, the engine with its 500Nm of easily available torque, suits the super-cruise nature of this car just fine. It gathers pace well and has wonderful composure at high speeds. That said, it does feel out of breath when you push it a bit hard. So don’t.
Now for the verdict – apart from the satnav screen, which doesn’t reorient itself with your direction of travel, I can’t think of a more complete, better rounded car on sale in India. This is Mercedes-Benz’s gigantic middle-fingered salute to their rivals saying, “this, gentlemen, is how it’s done”. And d’you know what? I think they’re right.