FOOTIE OR FOOTSIE?

The late nights, the rushing away from work — the symptoms are well documented. World Cup fever has come home to roost. And as footie fans are consumed by the beautiful game, survey agencies are having a blast examining what isn’t holding the male attention. Sex.
A recent survey found that 44 per cent men admitted to spending the most time thinking about fantasy football, picking out players for their “dream team”, while a comparatively low 30 per cent admitted to thinking most often about sex. With figures like these, it’s hardly any surprise that a second survey has found that one in 10 relationships breaks down because of the man’s obsessive interest in football. And a third survey of men in the UK found that they overwhelmingly prefer to have their women wear football jerseys in bed (Take a hint lingerie brands!). So has football overtaken sex in the list of male priorities?
Tackling the results of one survey at a time, advertising professional Clint Fernandez says, “When a big football tournament comes along, I guess sex does take a back seat. Guys are big on fun things, like planning their own fantasy XI. Sex can wait till the World Cup ends, or at least not while our favourite teams are playing — which would explain the results of the relationship breakdown survey.”
Tech blogger Nimish Sawant agrees. “The World Cup sure takes priority over other things for some of us. Guys will be guys and we don’t like any kind of disturbance when we are watching our favourite team play.” Both Clint and Nimish, however, treat the football jersey survey with scorn. “That’s just stretching things too far! It’s absurd,” says Nimish, while Clint explains, “I can’t for the life of me understand why any chap would want to see his girl wear a football jersey to bed. As football fans, we see players as miracle men or even gods. Certainly not sex symbols we would like to do!”

Of course, for those immune to football fever, a question of rearranging priorities is, to quote 25-year-old Vrushal Pendharkar, “populist blasphemy”. Blogger Bharat Iyer adds another vote against the survey results. He says, “I don’t spend a second of my thought on football. Sex, however...”

Serving as “the voice of reason”, investment adviser Ankush Makhija says the results of the surveys need to be taken with a pinch of salt. “I’m not really a football fanatic, although I do enjoy a game from time to time. As far as I’m concerned, there’s really no question at all — I’d rather have sex than watch 22 grown men kick a ball. I’d rather mess around than watch Messi. My priorities certainly haven’t changed. Now if only I could convince one of the 500 odd million women on the planet!”

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