Feeling the heat
The truth is always hard to digest, and it is no different for women on Valentine’s Day (on which day people express their ‘true love’): the average guy isn’t a big fan of the concept. All those expectations to shower love and affection, breaking his head over what can be the ‘perfect’ gift for his lady love, choosing the best place to spend a romantic evening and so on put a lot of pressure on most guys.
Naresh Iyer, singer, points out how “The personal touch that this day once used to be known for has been lost over the years. There is an increasing need for men to succumb to the peer pressure of having a special one on this day or to shower the one you love with gifts and special treatment in a flashy way that lets everyone else around you know that you’re in love. It is very important to not get carried away on Valentine’s Day,” he cautions wisely.
Given how hectic all our lives have become, with all the technology at hand and increased connectivity to friends and office work, expecting ‘nothing but love’ from a man on one particular day can get to him, feels psychologist Ganesh Kumar. He says, “While women tend to get carried away with the concept of a day for being pampered and returning the favour in kind, for most men, the expectation from them on one particular day can become mentally taxing. Many men are willing to do things for the women they love over a period of time and in a way they like best but when they’re expected to ‘show’ their love on Valentine’s day, it tends to get frustrating.”
But not all men are against the concept of keeping one day aside to celebrate love to the fullest. There are those like actor Arjan Bajwa, who would treat the day just like, say, an anniversary. He says, “The day is about celebrating love in whatever way possible within your means and efforts. Gifts, loving words and romantic dinners might be clichéd but those are some of the best ways for a man to say that he cares. And I don’t think setting aside one evening or even one day to make your loved one feel special is that tough.”
The funny thing, however, is that while most men might hate how they ‘have’ to show their love on Valentine’s Day as opposed to them ‘wanting’ to, it is only the pressure on them to express that affects them the most. They do not complain about the fact that they do have a special one in their lives. That is obvious when you see how the ones without a date have to undergo the torture of being single, thanks to an abundance of posts on Facebook and Twitter, friends that brag about their ‘smart and sexy’ girlfriends and cheesy billboards that scream ‘too bad you are single mate!’ So how does a single man tackle that? “The very same medium, such as Facebook and Twitter, that rub it in on single men on Valentine’s Day, could instead be used productively by socialising and finding the ‘right one’,” concludes Naresh.
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