Dealing with bullies

Unfortunately bullying has taken centrestage in the news. The death of a La Martiniere for Boys, Kolkata, Class VIII student, Rouvanjit Rawla, following the alleged corporal punishment by the school’s staff, is one such incident. In

another case, two kids of Class VIII from Euro International School, Gurgaon, shot at their classmate, who often used to bully them. These and many more incidents prompt one to stop and seek ways in which to deal with the bully menace. Here is a quick guide on how to take a stand when either you or someone else is being mistreated or bullied…
Wait and watch
First, consider what is the least amount of action you can take. Sometimes the most basic is just stopping and looking at what is going on, and letting people know that someone is watching. This could embarrass people into stopping what they are doing. In his book Why Good Kids Act Cruel, Carl Pickhardt, a psychologist, says, watching ‘bullying’ may embarrass some teasing kids into good behaviour. Pickhardt said kids between nine and 13 years are extremely insecure. “It doesn’t have to be a major intervention, this is an age of insecurity. Sometimes having someone not agreeing with what you are doing is enough.”

Be confident and act fast
You don’t even have to address bullies when sticking up for someone else. Pickhardt said he once saw a school girl rescue another girl from four bullying girls. The girls were teasing the victim in a school hallway. The victim was in tears when the young school girl took a stand. “She literally entered that circle, took the victim by the hand and led her out of the situation,” Pickhardt said. The rescuer did not address the bullies, and Pickhardt said that the four girls did not stop the intervention. This is just an example of how you can act if such a situation should arise.

Involve an adult
And last but not least: get the help of an adult if a situation reaches a point where you cannot handle it on your own. If a teacher is being physically violent or if kids are being physically assaulted by a bully, find an adult as quickly as possible. Talk about it to your parents; tell them what you feel. Never keep things bottled up inside you or brood over stuff. Remember that a problem shared is a problem solved. Your parents love you and they will go that extra mile for you if the need arises — so talk to them.

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